Alright so this morning I’m scrolling coffee in hand and my buddy texts me “Hey check Virgo love horoscope today says big romance energy!” And I’m like eh whatever but gotta be honest felt kinda curious. My dating life’s drier than stale crackers lately.
Opening The Dang Website
Grabbed laptop while nibbling toast. Typed that astrology site everybody talks about – you know the one – straight into my browser. Took forever loading with all them annoying cookie popups. Finally got to Virgo daily section breathing heavy like I ran a marathon just clicking.
What The Stars Said
Saw the love horoscope headline blinking up there bold as brass. Said Virgos should “speak feelings today” for romantic breakthroughs. Listed these exact points:
- Don’t overthink compliments (ha typical Virgo move)
- Initiate convo instead waiting
- Past issue might pop up – handle calmly
Read it twice thinking yeah sounds like generic fluff. But whatever committed now.
My Attempt At Following Advice
Decided to try it on Jamie, this person I been awkwardly orbiting for weeks. Saw them at lunch spot. Heart racing like hummingbird wings. Remembered “initiate convo.” Practiced compliment five times in my head.
Walked over sweating buckets. Opened mouth and choked out “Your… um… sandwich looks really efficient!” WHAT. EFFICIENT?? They just blinked confused. Total disaster – the horoscope didn’t prepare me for saying dumb stuff!
Aftermath & Realization
Jamie politely nodded and booked it outta there faster than lightning. Felt like cosmic joke. Later actually reread the horoscope – did say “past issues might resurface.” Sure did – my lifelong issue of word vomiting when nervous!
Conclusion? Stars give suggestions, not magic wands. Gotta work on my own nonsense. Still finished my coffee though. Maybe tomorrow’s horoscope says “stay silent” – now THAT I could nail.
(Currently telling my cat she’s gorgeous. Practice makes perfect right?)
