Okay so last Tuesday I woke up sweating buckets – clown nightmare again. You know the type? Big red nose, creepy smile, chasing me through a funhouse that kept shifting. Yeah, no thanks. I was fed up. Decided right then, coffee in hand, no more clown sleep terrors. Gonna tackle this head-on.
The Research Phase (Basically Googling Like Mad)
Grabbed my laptop, plopped back on the couch. Started typing stuff like “stop scary clown dreams” and “why nightmares about clowns”. Fell down this rabbit hole reading forums and psychology articles. Found a few common ideas people swore by:
- Watching funny clown stuff before bed: Supposed to make the brain think “clown = funny”, not “clown = horror”.
- Drawing the nightmare clown: Give it a stupid hat or huge shoes. Make it look ridiculous.
- Retelling the dream aloud but changing the ending: Like imagining the clown slipping on a banana peel.
- Chilling music and deep breaths: Especially when waking up scared.
Putting it All to the Test That Night
Right, time for action. After dinner, I deliberately watched old blooper reels of clowns falling over. Silly stuff. Y’know what? It kinda worked. Felt less jittery just thinking about clowns. Then, I sketched that nightmare clown – gave him massive clown shoes and a tiny, squeaky horn he kept tripping over. Looked dumb, not scary. Felt powerful.
Got into bed, put on some calm ocean sounds, focused on slow breathing: in deep, hold it, out slow. Didn’t fall asleep immediately, but the panic feeling eased off. When the clown did show up in my dream (figures, right?), it was fuzzy at first. I remembered the plan.
The Dream Win!
There he was, looming. Instead of running, I stopped. Took a deep breath in the dream. It felt weirdly real. Then I thought of the stupid squeaky horn I’d drawn. I yelled (in the dream!), “Hey Bozo! Your shoes are untied!” Woke myself up grinning. Seriously! The clown looked confused, then bent down to tie his ridiculous giant shoes. Didn’t even feel scared waking up.
Making it Stick
Been practicing this routine every night since:
- Funny Clowns ONLY: Few minutes of goofy clown videos before bed.
- Air Drawing: Sometimes I just imagine adding silly details to any creepy image that pops up.
- Deep Breathing is Key: Do it before sleep, and practice trying to remember it in the nightmare.
A week later? Only one minor clown blip. He popped up, I pictured him slipping on banana peels. Vanished. Felt good. Simple things, but man, focusing on making the scary stuff ridiculous? Total game changer.
Why was my old job such a circus? Now that was a real-life nightmare! Boss was way scarier than any dream clown. Micromanaged everything. Remember that Friday launch? Team worked weeks on it. Boss strolls in an hour before go-live: “Changed my mind. Do it the other way.” The other way meaning the plan he’d rejected two weeks ago. We scrambled, messed it up bad. Whose fault? Ours, apparently. He ranted about ‘accountability’ while taking zero responsibility. Salary was okay, but the stress headaches? Constant. Quit six months ago. Best decision. Now, funny how dealing with actual nightmare clowns feels easier than dealing with clownish bosses. Focused on fixing what I can control – starting with my own sleep. Peace beats peanuts every time.
