So I kept seeing those dang “will he come back” tarot posts all over my feed. Honestly? Figured it was mostly nonsense. But hey, curiosity killed the cat or whatever, right? Decided to actually give it a shot myself, follow the basic steps everyone was yapping about. Here’s exactly how I bumbled through it.
First, Finding the Cards Online
Didn’t own a tarot deck, obviously. Googled “free tarot reading online.” Clicked the first three links that popped up. Two looked sketchy as heck, all flashing ads. Settled on the third one ’cause it looked simpler. Typed “will he come back” into the question box. Felt kinda dumb doing it.
Shuffling? Yeah, Right
The site had a button to “shuffle” the cards. Clicked it. Once. Then twice ’cause why not? It made this whoosh sound. Asked me to “pull” three cards by clicking them. Felt like ordering takeout – not exactly magical.
Hitting the Paywall & More Searches
Bam! Site blocked the dang meaning behind card three. “Register for full interpretation!” Nah, mate. Closed that tab fast. Hopped back to my Google results. Scrolled past the first ten results this time. Found another freebie site. Retyped my question. Did the whole click-shuffle-pull dance again. Three different cards popped up this time. Of course they did.
My Genius Interpretation Strategy
Saw the card names and pictures. Google Image Search time! Took each card name:
- Card One: “Three of Cups” Looked like three ladies drinking. “Party card,” said the first link I clicked.
- Card Two: “The Tower” A building getting zapped by lightning. “Sudden change, disaster.” Oof.
- Card Three: “Justice” Lady with scales. “Fairness, decisions.” Okay, vague.
Laid the descriptions side-by-side on my notepad. Stared at them. Wondered how “Party,” “Disaster,” and “Fairness” could possibly explain if Mike from accounting was gonna text me back after ghosting.
Attempting to Connect the Dots
Felt ridiculous. Tried squinting at the screen, hoping for insight.
- Theories: Maybe the party meant he moved on with others? The Tower could be the disaster of him leaving? Justice… he’ll see he was wrong? Felt like throwing spaghetti at the wall.
- Cheating: Went back to that paywalled first site. Peeked at the first two cards they showed. “Knight of Pentacles” (slow dude?) and “Ace of Cups” (new feelings?). Didn’t match my second batch at ALL. Utterly useless.
Tried forcing the random meanings into some sorta story. It felt just like reading tea leaves at the bottom of my coffee mug.
The Real Kicker?
While stressing over the “Justice” card meaning, my phone buzzes. It’s Mike! Text reads: “Hey sorry, phone died. Busy weekend. What’s up?”
So, he did come back… kind of. While I was staring at a cartoon lady holding scales telling me about “karmic balance.” Go figure.
What Actually Happened?
The experiment basically went like this:
- Search free sites
- Click stuff
- Smash into paywalls
- Search free sites again
- Get inconsistent cards
- Google images & text descriptions
- Stare blankly at a messy puzzle
- Confirmation bias kicks in AFTER real life happens
Learned absolutely nothing useful from the cards themselves. Zero mystical insight. Just wasted an hour playing digital card games. Would it actually tell the future? Who knows. Did it waste my time? Absolutely.
