Okay guys, today’s experiment is kinda wild – I actually spent a full month living by my Virgo money horoscope advice. Yeah, seriously. Don’t laugh yet, it got messy.
My Stupid Simple Plan
First off, I dug up three different astrology apps and websites – just whatever popped up first in the app store and Google searches. No cherry-picking, promise. My rules were dumb straightforward:
- Check all three daily Virgo money predictions first thing with coffee
- If any two agreed on advice? Do it, no second-guessing.
- Log every single action taken because of horoscopes
- Track all money outcomes – surprise bills, found cash, sales, etc.
Took a fat Sharpie and wrote “ASTRO RULES” on my fridge so I wouldn’t chicken out. Felt ridiculous.
The Actual Month-Long Circus
Week 1 kicked off with two sources screaming “avoid financial risks.” That same morning, my buddy texted about this “guaranteed” crypto pump. Normally? I’d throw in $100 bucks just for laughs. But nah. Horoscope said no. Felt like a total chump ignoring him… until that coin crashed 80% two days later. Okay, point for astrology.
Then things got goofy. Mid-month, all three apps agreed Virgos should “seek hidden opportunities.” Spent three lunch breaks wandering around downtown staring at sidewalks like an idiot looking for dropped wallets. Found a soggy $5 bill near a gutter. Also got chased off by security for peeking behind dumpsters. Not worth it.
Worst was when they said “share wealth generously.” Bought Starbucks for everyone in my coworking space that day. Fifteen caramel macchiatos. Got one lukewarm “thanks” and saw ZERO karma payback. Just a $75 hole in my account.
Money Results? Absolute Chaos
Checked my spending tracker at the end – pure madness.
- Saved $200 dodging that crypto mess
- Lost $120 on stupid horoscope-driven “opportunity” lunches
- Unexpected cash? Just that sad $5 bill
Cancelled two meetings cause stars said “wait for signs” first. Both clients ghosted me afterward. Maybe coincidence? Or maybe horoscopes tanked my hustle.
Verdict? Broke Even – Literally
Ended up with like… $14 more than last month? Pure luck. The “good” calls felt like random guesses, and the bad advice cost me real money and dignity. Would I trust Virgo stars for lottery numbers? Hell no. Not even for garage sale haggling. Real talk – setting a budget alarm on my phone did more than any planetary alignment ever did.
