So my partner and I have been hitting a few snags lately, you know how it is. I’m a Virgo, they’re a Pisces, and sometimes it feels like we’re speaking different languages, especially in the bedroom. I read a bunch about compatibility and decided to just try a simple five-step plan tonight. No fancy stuff, just seeing what works.
Step 1: Actually Talking Before Anything Else
Usually, we just kind of fall into things. Tonight, I poured two glasses of wine and said, “Hey, can we just chat for a minute before we turn on the TV?” We sat on the couch and I just started talking about my day, and asked about theirs. It wasn’t a big, serious “we need to talk” talk. It was just… talking. And it felt weirdly easy. We ended up laughing about something stupid that happened at their work. It set a totally different mood.
Step 2: Setting the Mood Without Trying Too Hard
After talking for a bit, I got up and dimmed the lights. I didn’t light a hundred candles or anything, just switched the big overhead light off and turned on a small lamp. I put on some quiet music in the background, nothing with words. It wasn’t a grand gesture, just a small change that made the room feel calmer and more private.
Step 3: Focusing on Touch, Not Just the Goal
This is where my Virgo brain usually messes things up. I get too much in my head about the “what’s next.” So when we started kissing, I made a real effort to just focus on that. I paid attention to how their skin felt under my hands, just rubbing their back and arms. I tried to slow everything way down instead of rushing. It felt a little awkward at first, like I was moving in slow motion, but after a minute, it started to feel really natural and way more intimate.
Step 4: Trying Something New, But Really Small
We always do the same things. So I remembered they once mentioned liking it when I whispered in their ear. I never really did it much because it felt silly. But tonight, when we were close, I just said something simple like, “This feels really nice.” It was cheesy, I know, but they actually sighed and pulled me closer. Such a tiny thing, but it was like a little surprise that worked.
Step 5: Checking In Afterwards
This was the hardest part for me. After we were done, instead of just rolling over to go to sleep, I stayed close and asked, “Was that okay?” It felt vulnerable, but they just smiled and said, “Yeah, it was really good. The talking first helped.” We just lay there for a few minutes, not saying much, but it felt connected in a way we haven’t felt in a while.
The takeaway? It wasn’t magic. It was just five simple steps that forced me to be more present and less in my own head. As a Virgo, I want to fix things and have a plan, and sometimes that’s the problem. Tonight was about letting go of the plan and just focusing on us, step by simple step. It definitely felt like an improvement.
