Alright folks, buckle up cause this is gonna be raw. Decided to finally test-drive that whole “manifesting love for Virgos” thing everyone keeps buzzing about. May 2025, felt like now or never.
Getting My Crap Together (Sort Of)
First things first, needed space. Cleaned off the dusty coffee table – found three remotes and a petrified bagel chunk. Better than nothing. Dug around the junk drawer:
- Scraps of paper (mostly old receipts and a gum wrapper)
- A stubby red candle (birthday cake vibes, but hey)
- Pen that might actually work (miraculous find)
- Little dish of salt (stole it off the pretzel bag)
Actually Attempting the Steps
Okay, so the “easy steps” said write it down. What even is Virgo love? Overthought that for a solid ten minutes staring at the gum wrapper.
Scribbled down:
- Someone stable. Like, pays bills on time kinda stable.
- Not allergic to cats. Non-negotiable. Gary sheds.
- Actually listens. And maybe remembers my coffee order?
- Gets my weird humor. Dark jokes welcome here.
Folded the receipt/gum wrapper mess into a tiny square. Tried placing the salt around the candle… spilled salt everywhere. Scooped most of it back up with my hand. Lit the candle. Flame wobbled dangerously – hoped it wouldn’t catch the dust bunnies under the table on fire.
Closed my eyes. Tried picturing… something. Mostly saw the inside of my eyelids. Said out loud, kinda embarrassed even though no one was home: “Alright universe, or whatever. Throw me a Virgo-ish bone here. Or just someone decent. Help Gary like them.” Blew out the candle. Smoke smelled faintly of singed dust.
Tossed the paper square into the little dish with the messy salt. Plopped it by the window near Gary’s favorite sunbeam spot. Done. Felt slightly ridiculous, but also weirdly focused for a few minutes there.
What Actually Went Down
Forgot about the damn paper square for days. Gary probably batted it around.
Exactly one week later? Got matched on that app, the one you just swipe faces. Profile looked… normal? Like, full sentences. Bio mentioned liking weird documentaries and dirty chai lattes – okay, potential. First date was just coffee. They showed up exactly on time, which felt like a sign. Made a stupid joke about the weather app lying – they snorted their latte. Good sign. Conversation was… easy? Didn’t feel like pulling teeth.
Here’s the kicker: When I ordered my complicated sugar-free, almond milk, extra hot abomination… they actually remembered it when I went for a refill. Didn’t even have to repeat it. AND mentioned Gary without me prompting. Said they grew up with cats.
Now, am I calling them a full-blown textbook Virgo? Dunno yet. Didn’t grill them on their birthday right off the bat. But stable? Seems it. Listens? Definitely. Weird humor? Check. Gary hasn’t hissed. And remembering the coffee order? Felt like the universe (or my spilled pretzel salt) did something vaguely cosmic.
Moral? Maybe writing stuff down, even on garbage, and giving zero craps about perfect candle placement kinda works. Or maybe I just got lucky with an app swipe. Either way, that messy pile by the window got me a coffee date with someone who feels… promisingly Virgo-ish.
