So my Virgo butt actually tried tracking that 2024 career horoscope everyone’s sharing. Figured why not test if star stuff works. Spoiler: it got weird.
First step was finding the forecast details. Googled “Virgo 2024 salary horoscope” during coffee break. Most sites claimed Mercury retrograde would mess up negotiations around April and September. Also read some junk about Jupiter bringing “abundance” by summer. Honestly rolled my eyes at the astro-jargon.
Here’s exactly what I did:
- Took notes on key dates – circled April 1-18 and August 23 to Sept 15 as Mercury chaos periods
- Made a separate reminder for June 20 when Jupiter moved into Gemini (supposedly “luck” phase)
- Recorded my actual salary talks in Google Docs like a lab experiment
January rolled in and nothing special happened. Asked my boss for a raise anyway. Got the usual “budget review next quarter” runaround. So much for planetary magic.
The April Mercury thing though…
My company announced restructuring on April 3rd. My department got shuffled around while Mercury was backward dancing. Instead of discussing my salary raise like planned, HR froze all promotions “pending reorganization.” The horoscope technically got that chaos right – but did stars cause it or just guess corporate nonsense timing?
June’s Jupiter luck period hit different. Landed two freelance gigs through old contacts – extra $3k total. Wasn’t salary related though. Horoscope said “career abundance” so maybe half-point?
September Mercury madness actually lined up. Scheduled my big raise negotiation for Sept 4. Boss rescheduled twice because his kid got sick then system outages hit. Ended up meeting Sept 28… with Mercury still backwards. Presented my case anyway.
And here’s the kicker: they offered a pathetic 2% raise. Showed them industry salary data. They came back with 4% after “checking budgets.” Still garbage. Then mid-October – weeks after Mercury went direct – they randomly matched me to market rate anyway. Why? New equity rules forced pay adjustments.
My takeaway?
- Did stars predict chaos windows? Sort of – corporate nonsense clumped around Mercury dates
- Did Jupiter bring “abundance”? Got side gigs but not salary
- Actual raise came from boring compliance rules, not planets
Whole thing felt like squeezing zodiac juice for nothing. Unless… maybe the universe wanted me to procrastinate? Either way, I’ll take the money. Stars get zero credit though.
