So back in late 2016, I dug up this Virgo love horoscope prediction online. Figured it’d be fun to actually fact-check astrologers for once. Grabbed an old-school notebook and made a table for each month of 2017. Left column for their predictions, right column for what actually went down in my dating life.
January Setup
Scribbled the January forecast: “Sparks fly with mysterious stranger around 7th!” Laughed my ass off when nothing happened that entire week. Just stayed home binge-watching cooking shows with my cat. Wrote “total BS” in red pen across that page.
Spring Disaster
Their April prediction got specific: “Passionate reconciliation with ex before full moon.” Nope. My ex actually blocked me after I accidentally texted “your dog’s ugly” to her instead of my buddy. Messed up? Yeah. Horoscope accurate? Hell no.
- May prediction said “soulmate enters through workplace”
- Reality? Got written up for hitting on the barista at work
- Horoscope rating: -10/10
By June I nearly quit this experiment. The July prediction claimed “grand romantic gesture brings commitment.” Instead? Tried singing under my crush’s window and got cops called for disturbing peace. Astrologers owe me bail money.
The One Weird Win
November said: “Unexpected love blooms where you least expect.” Actually nailed this one – met Sarah at a dumpster fire of a blind date. We bonded over how much the horoscopes sucked. Been together 6 years now. So… broken clock right twice a day?
Final Tally
Checked all 12 months against the notebook:
- Flat wrong: 9 months
- Vague enough to count: 2 months
- Accurate: 1 freaking month
Ended up rating the accuracy at dumpster-fire level. But honestly? Best outcome was meeting Sarah while trashing these predictions. Universe has weird ways of working I guess!
