Okay, let’s dive into this wild ride of trying to crack Aquarius and Virgo in the bedroom. When me and my Virgo partner first got together, sparks flew… but not always the good kind. Felt like mixing oil and water sometimes.
The Kickoff:
Started noticing patterns. Virgo would nitpick the setup – “Are the sheets clean? Did you lock the door?” Meanwhile, I’m an Aquarius zoning out imagining tentacle aliens. Total disconnect. Had to Google stuff late one night, sipping cheap wine like “Okay, WHY is this so awkward?”
Testing Phase:
Ran experiments like a mad scientist:
- Experiment 1: Tried Virgo’s style first – planned everything. Set mood lights, scheduled “intimacy hours.” Felt robotic. My Aquarius brain rebelled hard. Failed spectacularly.
- Experiment 2: Went full Aquarius surprise mode – jumped them after midnight talking about nebula fantasies. Virgo panicked about tomorrow’s 6am alarm. Also failed.
- Experiment 3: Hybrid attack. Told Virgo: “We’re doing spontaneity YOUR way.” Pre-agreed “surprise windows” with clean sheets ready. Weirdly worked.
Breakthrough Tools:
- Virgo’s Manual: Made a literal checklist (their idea). Includes “10 mins of massage BEFORE weird Aquarius ideas.” Practical? Yes. Unsexy? Absolutely. But damn it functioned.
- Aquarius’ Hack: Used Virgo’s love of analysis. Debriefed after like scientists: “On scale 1-10, how did my blacklight idea feel?” Virgo actually relaxed when treating it like data.
Final Setup:
Created our Frankenstein system:
- Fridays: Virgo’s scheduled “maintenance intimacy” (their words, not mine).
- Sundays: My improv slot – but I warn them about alien role-plays 24hrs upfront.
- Post-game analysis mandatory. No emotions – just “your knee hit my spleen 2/10.”
After 4 months? Still feels like babysitting a calculator during a rave sometimes. But Virgo admits the debriefs cut their anxiety 70%. I get my spontaneous fixes without guilt. Pro tip: Treat it like an IKEA manual. Follow instructions, expect missing screws, laugh when it nearly collapses.
