How I Started This Monthly Virgo Thing
So I grabbed my laptop last Thursday after spilling coffee all over my old notebook. Total mess. Decided screw it, why not track Virgo stuff since I’m one myself? Went full basic mode: opened a blank doc and typed “love advice” and “career crap” at the top. Didn’t overthink it.
My Stupid Simple Research Process
First I texted my friend Sarah who’s obsessed with star signs. Big mistake. She sent me 27 voice notes screaming about retrograde mercury. Useless. Dug through my own calendar instead – marked every day I felt super productive or got into dumb fights. Turns out:
- Career boosts happened mostly when I woke up early and ignored emails until 10AM
- Love life sucked whenever I tried “casual dating” apps
Also checked last month’s horoscope from some free site. Complete joke. Said Virgos should “embrace change” – yeah no kidding.

Testing the Career Tips
Okay so week one I forced myself to do the early wake-up thing. Felt like death. But guess what? Knocked out three client proposals by noon. Weirdly worked. Then the advice about “not over-planning”? Total fail. Skipped my to-do list Tuesday and forgot a zoom meeting. Boss pissed. So now I do half-planning with Post-its instead of spreadsheets.
Love Experiment Disaster Zone
Horoscope said “be vulnerable”. Tried that on my Hinge date Mark. Told him about my fear of squirrels. He ghosted. Then read online Virgos should “take initiative”. Asked out coffee shop guy. Turns out he’s married with twins. Awkward. Best result? When I stopped forcing dates and just hung with my dog. Met someone cool at the damn dog park.
What Actually Stuck
After this cluster of a month, only three things mattered:
- Career: Block first work hour for hard stuff only – no distractions
- Love: Stop analyzing texts. If they’re into you, they’ll call
- Both: Trust gut more than “cosmic guidance”
Shoved all my notes in a Google Doc called “Virgo Survival Kit”. Might update next month if Mercury doesn’t “retrograde” my laptop into oblivion.
