So yesterday my Virgo wife’s nagging got me thinking – are we actually compatible? She’s all “organize the socks by thickness” and I’m like “dude, chaos is art”. Pulled up Google and typed “Aquarius man Virgo woman” thinking the stars got answers.
The Whole Snooping Around Part
Started simple. Brewed some nasty coffee – forgot the filter, grounds floating everywhere. Grabbed my laptop and a sticky notepad. Googled “Aquarius Virgo match”. Got like fifty websites all saying different junk:
- One site yelled: “Disaster! They speak alien languages!”
- Next one whispered: “Secret soulmates! Grounded Virgo calms quirky Aquarius!”
- Third site shrugged: “Meh. Could work, could crash. Pay $29.99 for full report.”
Got mad confusing. Scribbled notes like a crazy person:
“Virgo: Picky?? Clean?? Annoying?”
“Aquarius: Space cadet? Messy? Detached?”
Half of it sounded like my wife yelling at me for leaving dishes.
The Trying to Make Sense Mess
Tried being smart. Pulled up her actual birth chart – sun in Virgo, moon in something, houses… looked like alphabet soup. Mine was worse. Aquarius sun, Mercury who-knows-where. Zero idea what any of it meant.
Checked forums. People arguing:
“Virgos are control freaks!”
“Aquarians need therapy!”
One lady said her Virgo mom vacuumed at 5 AM and her Aquarius dad moved to a yurt. Real helpful.
Spilled coffee on my notes. Cat walked on the keyboard. Wanted to cry.
Throwing in the Towel
My wife walks in. “Still researching why you won’t put laundry away?”
Showed her the mess – coffee stains, cat hair notes, twenty browser tabs yelling contradictions.
She sighed that Virgo sigh. “The stars don’t make you leave socks on the floor.”
Mic drop.
Shut the laptop. Wiped up the coffee. Threw the soggy notes away.
Stars might be onto something. Or maybe they’re just old bullcrap people blame stuff on. Either way, ain’t paying $29.99. We just live here.
The end.
Post-Script: Saw my star sign’s “lucky salary upgrade potential” for next week. Pretty sure that one’s fake too.
