Okay so every month I try to look up Vedic astrology stuff for my sign. Virgo obviously. This month I totally forgot until yesterday. Grabbed my phone while drinking morning coffee.
Finding That Vedic Horoscope
First I just typed “vedic virgo monthly horoscope” into search. Clicked the top link. Bad idea. Site bombarded me with pop-ups about palm readings. Closed everything and started over.
Tried another site. Had to scroll past like ten ads. Seriously, why do they put more ads than actual horoscope? Anyway, finally found the Virgo section.
Reading The Predictions
Skimmed through career part first. It said something about “planetary alignments favoring systematic approaches.” Laughed because my desk looks like a tornado hit it. Made note to clean it this weekend.
- Health part: Warned about digestive issues. Remembered I ate gas station tacos last night. Oops.
- Finance part: Told to avoid big purchases. Immediately thought about the PlayStation 5 sale I saw. Damnit.
Relationship section confused me. Said “past connections may reappear.” Only person who texted me yesterday was my cousin asking to borrow money. Blocked his number again.
My Actual Month Versus Predictions
Weirdly, the career thing matched. Last week I finally organized my project files after putting it off for months. Boss noticed and gave me extra assignment. More work. Yay?
Health warning came too late obviously. Spent Tuesday hugging the toilet because of those tacos. Should’ve checked horoscope sooner.
Relationship part? Total miss. No exes crawling back. No soulmates appearing. Unless you count Tinder matches ghosting after two messages.
Why I Even Check This Stuff
Whole horoscope habit started when I was broke last year. I mean sleeping-on-friend’s-couch broke. Found some Vedic site saying “financial relief coming soon.” Next day got a freelance gig that saved my ass. Coincidence? Probably. But now I check monthly like superstition.
Plus it’s entertaining. Especially when predictions go completely wrong. Like March saying I’d travel internationally. Closest I got was eating Korean BBQ.
Anyway, finished reading, made coffee refill. Already breaking the finance advice by planning to buy new phone charger later. Let’s see if planets actually care.
