Okay so this week I decided to actually sit down and see what my Virgo love horoscope was screaming about. Normally, I kinda roll my eyes at this stuff, you know? Feels like vague nonsense most days. But hey, it popped up, my brain went “Huh,” and my fingers were clicking before I could stop ’em.
The Search Begins
Right, step one: actually finding the damn thing. Opened my phone, went straight to the search bar. Typed in “Virgo weekly love horoscope” – felt kinda silly, honestly. Like ordering a crystal off wish dot com. Saw a few results pop up. Scrolled past the ones plastered with too many sparkles or promises of soulmate destiny NOW. Nah, too much. Just wanted something that sounded vaguely human and not like it was written by a cosmic chatbot.
Found one that looked… decent? Or at least, the headline wasn’t screaming at me. Tapped on it. Loaded kinda slow, which didn’t exactly fill me with cosmic confidence.
The Big Read… & The Letdown
So there it was. Started reading. Something about “Mercury retrograde vibes settling down” finally? Thank god for that. Always blame Mercury when my texts get weird anyway. Then it talked about communication needing to be “clearer than spring water,” which, no kidding? Isn’t that what we want every day?
Scrolled down. Ah, the juicy bit? Supposedly, this week’s the time to “express those hidden feelings” if I’ve got ’em. Held back a snort.
- Step one: Have feelings. Okay, check. Maybe.
- Step two: Identify they’re actually hidden feelings? Tricky.
- Step three: Actually express them? Like, out loud? To another person? Yikes. Hard pass unless the planets plan to beam courage directly into my coffee.
Also got some cryptic advice about “being practical in matters of the heart.” What does that even mean? Like, bring a spreadsheet to the date? Calculate ROI on emotional investment? This is why I get grumpy about horoscopes sometimes. Give me something concrete, universe!
My Verdict? Meh.
Finished reading the whole spiel. Closed the browser tab. Honestly? Felt pretty underwhelmed. It was basically saying: “Hey Virgo, stop overthinking so much and maybe talk to people honestly? Also, practical stuff.” Groundbreaking cosmic advice, right there. Felt like stuff my actual therapist might gently suggest – minus the planets. And definitely way less practical.
Did it change anything? Nope. Went about my day, made coffee, scrolled social media, ignored that brief, weird urge to confess anything deep to anyone near me. Probably dodged a bullet there. Still single. Still rolling my eyes at the universe’s vague hints. Maybe next week’s horoscope will be more specific. Like, “Buy pizza for the cute barista at 3 PM Thursday.” Now that I could get behind. Till then, just trying not to overthink Mercury being nice for once.
