So this morning I was scrolling through Twitter when Yasmin Boland’s Virgo post popped up. Couldn’t care less usually, but the coffee hadn’t kicked in yet and my thumb slipped. Clicked it before I even realized.
First thing I did? Scrolled straight down hunting for bullet points. Ain’t nobody got time for fluffy astro-talk. Found this section:
“Virgo’s Quick Takeaways”
and nearly spat out my Earl Grey. The thing actually said:
- Mercury retrograde means triple-check emails before sending
- Old colleague might pop up Thursday
- Hide receipts if splurging on books Friday
Literally snorted. Mercury retrograde warning every dang time. Still… checked my sent folder just now. Found that typo in Tuesday’s client proposal. Fine Yasmin, point taken.
Thursday’s colleague prediction? Total bust so far. Unless Gary from accounting asking for stapler counts. Big whoop.
But here’s the creepy bit: walked into that used bookstore Friday afternoon. Swear the planets aligned just to embarrass me. Grabbed three vintage cookbooks, got home and immediately stashed the receipt under couch cushions. Like some Pavlovian horoscope dog.
Final verdict? Same as always. Read it sideways while microwaving leftovers. Snipped the “insights” into my journal with a sarcastic pat on the back. Feels like paying $5 for fortune cookies – 90% nonsense, but that one accurate cookie makes you feel weirdly seen. Might check next week’s. Might not. Cat walked away halfway so even she couldn’t care less.
