Okay so last month I was scrolling through some weird online forums, you know how it is late at night, and stumbled on this whole astrology career advice thing. Honestly sounded like nonsense but my job search was going nowhere, so I thought “Eh what the heck”. Found an article screaming “Virgo Career 2021 Advice Top 5 Strategies from Astrologers”. Figured I’d give it a shot for a week, just to see.
Finding The Weird Stuff
First step? Finding the actual advice. Took longer than expected. Some sites wanted payment, others were super vague. Finally, after digging deep into the results, I scribbled down what seemed to be the top 5 things these astrologers wanted Virgos like me to do in 2021:
- Mercury Retrograde Prep: Like, double-checking emails obsessively or avoiding big job talks during certain weeks? Seriously?
- “Detail Purification”: This involved cleaning my physical and digital workspace like a maniac. Something about Venus helping organization.
- Networking by Moon Signs: Trying to figure out potential bosses’ moon signs for better communication. How the heck was I supposed to know that?
- Routine Rituals: Setting specific times for job hunting every day based on planetary hours. Seriously, they had charts.
- Harnessing the Virgo Critical Eye: But like, “constructively”. Basically nitpicking my own applications more than usual.
The “Practice” Week Begins
Monday morning, I started. Cleaned my desk like my life depended on it – dusted under the monitor, filed papers that had been stacking up since 2019. Felt good, actually. Then checked the Mercury retrograde dates. None that week, phew! Avoided that chaos.
Tuesday was Job Hunt time. Pulled up one of those planetary hour calculators. My “power time” for job hunting was apparently 1pm-3pm. Sat down right at 1 pm, feeling kinda silly. Spent two hours scouring job boards. Honestly? Didn’t feel different from any other day.
Wednesday I tried the “moon sign” thing for this manager at a company I applied to. Stalked his LinkedIn… zero mention of his birthday. Googled like mad. Found an old company newsletter mentioning he ran a marathon – in MAY. That’s it. Might be a Taurus? Scorpio? Gave up. Total waste of an hour.
Thursday was “nitpick my resume” day. Used my “Virgo critical eye” alright. Ended up rewriting the same bullet point six different ways until it sounded unnatural. Started doubting every word. Felt more like self-sabotage than harnessing anything useful.
Friday? Mercury retrograde prep paranoia kicked in. Had a scheduled follow-up call about an application. Re-read every email I’d sent them three times, sweat dripping, terrified I’d find a typo only visible during retrograde (even though it wasn’t retrograde!). Made myself anxious for nothing.
The Grand Results (Or Lack Thereof)
After a week of this?
- My desk was very clean. Like, impressively clean.
- I felt more stressed and neurotic than when I started, overthinking timing and phrasing constantly.
- Zero magical job offers appeared.
- Zero calls from mysterious well-connected Taurus moon individuals.
- I spent hours on stuff that had zero practical benefit to actually finding a job.
Look, the cleaning was nice. Getting organized is never bad. But the astrology part? Felt like grasping at straws while actually making myself crazier. Did Mercury care about my cover letter typos? Did the Moon care if my potential boss was a Leo moon or a Pisces? Probably not.
In the end, the only “strategy” that stuck was keeping my workspace tidy. The rest? I dumped it faster than yesterday’s coffee grounds. Sometimes the “secrets” really are just… hard work, a clean desk, and ignoring wacky planetary timetables. Save yourself the headache.
