Man, sometimes you just fall down an internet rabbit hole and decide to waste a week on something totally ridiculous. That’s exactly how I ended up investigating a dusty old Virgo career horoscope from June 2014. Seriously. I was scrolling through some archive sites, looking up old tech trends, when this headline popped up: “Jupiter promises Virgos a massive financial breakthrough!” It promised huge promotions, unexpected raises, the whole shebang, right in the middle of that summer.
I read it and immediately thought, “What a load of absolute crap.” But then the weird side of my brain kicked in. I thought back to the incident years ago—when my old employer tried to freeze me out after I got back from that quarantine situation. The way they just deleted me from the system and tried to pretend I didn’t exist, only to crawl back later when they were desperate. That experience taught me one thing: Never trust the fluff; always check the receipts. So I decided I was going to actually check this horoscope’s receipts.
My Initial Strategy: Digging for 2014 Virgos
The first thing I needed was data. Real people who identified as Virgos, were working in June 2014, and could clearly remember their financial situation that month. This was already a terrible idea because we’re talking about ten years ago, but I started anyway.
I started by hitting up my old LinkedIn network. I filtered through connections I knew were Virgos and just sent them the most awkward, non-sequitur messages ever: “Hey, random question, remember June 2014? Any major job changes or raises that month?” You can imagine how well that went. Most people thought I was hacked, or worse, trying to sell them crypto.
That was a dead end. So, I pivoted hard to anonymous forums. I spent three days sifting through archived career threads on Reddit and some specific professional message boards that were active around 2014. I didn’t ask directly about astrology; that would just invite sarcasm. I posted things like, “Looking for people who had unexpected career events in mid-2014, details needed for a retrospective project.” I used a throwaway account, obviously.
I managed to collect about 50 preliminary responses. But verifying these stories was the real killer.
The Data Is a Total Mess
This is where the real practice comes in—the filtering process. Because everyone remembers things differently. Someone says they got a “huge raise,” but when you press them, it turns out it was a scheduled 3% cost-of-living adjustment. Someone else says they got a “massive promotion,” but it was just a title change without any extra money.
I had to implement a three-point verification system for every single positive claim:
- Was the person definitively a Virgo (birth date check)?
- Did the raise/promotion actually hit their bank account in June/July 2014? (Not planned in May or implemented in August.)
- Was the event unexpected, or was it part of a scheduled review cycle?
I eliminated about 60% of the initial pool immediately. One guy claimed he got a huge signing bonus, but then admitted the job offer was finalized in February 2014. Nope. Another woman claimed a massive raise, but the HR paperwork I found (through some very careful public record searching related to her former employer) showed her annual review was mandated every May. Not unexpected.
What I Found Out About June 2014 Virgos
After scrubbing the data clean, I was left with 18 records I felt were semi-reliable. These were people whose career movements in that period seemed genuinely spontaneous or disproportionate to their annual review schedule. I analyzed the 18 specific outcomes:
Six people (33%) reported a significant, unexpected positive event. This included two who were poached by a competitor with a 40%+ salary hike, and four who got sudden, unscheduled internal raises or bonuses tied to a specific project completion.
Nine people (50%) reported absolutely nothing different. They were plugging along, same job, same pay, same stress. One even joked that he just remembers being mad because his AC broke that June.
Three people (17%) reported a negative event. One was laid off due to a team reorganization, and two others quit because their work environments had become toxic. Definitely not the “massive breakthrough” promised by Jupiter.
So, did the Virgo career horoscope for June 2014 impact their job life? Did they all get huge promotions or raises?
The short answer is no, absolutely not.
What this practice truly showed me is that life, and specifically career progression, is almost entirely divorced from what some random columnist writes about Jupiter and the stars. The six people who got a raise? When I dug deeper into their profiles, every single one of them had been putting in massive overtime and preparation for the 12 months before June 2014. They weren’t lucky; they were ready.
The horoscope didn’t impact their job life. Their hard work and strategic maneuvering impacted their job life. The June 2014 date was just a random collision point. This whole stupid experiment just confirmed what I learned back when my old job tried to screw me over: You only get paid when you force the issue. Relying on stars is just giving yourself an excuse not to hustle.
And that’s the final record. Practice closed. Don’t waste your time reading old horoscopes.
