So yesterday I was cleaning out my Google Drive and stumbled on some old horoscope stuff from 2019. Found this “Virgo Daily Horoscope 2019 Money Luck?” note I’d saved. Decided hey, why not check if that crap actually matched what happened?
Step 1: Digging Up Ancient History
First I rummaged through all my bank apps trying to find 2019 statements. Nearly gave up till I remembered I’d emailed myself some PDFs back then. Found April and September reports – those months always wreck my wallet.
Step 2: The Prediction vs Reality Smackdown
According to what I’d saved:
- Prediction said “Unexpected windfall around tax season” in April
- Reality? Got audited instead. Had to pay extra $850.
- Prediction claimed “Favorable investments in autumn”
- Reality? My dumb crypto experiment crashed hard that September.
Step 3: The Laugh Test
Decided to track down where I even got this “daily forecast.” Scrolled forever in Chrome history til I recognized some astrology meme site’s ugly purple layout. Turns out they’d posted identical predictions for Taurus, Gemini AND Virgo that whole year. Total copy-paste job!
Epiphany Moment
Felt so ripped off I made actual charts comparing:
Red bars for my real bank balances
Green fantasy lines from the horoscope
Looked like two drunk spiders fighting on graph paper.
Conclusion
Burned the printouts in my backyard fire pit last night. Best $0 investment I ever made. Now I just check horoscopes when I need a good laugh. Pro tip: if you want money advice, literally ANYTHING works better than daily star readings. Even flipping a coin gives 50/50 odds.
