Man, I was totally lost. Like, absolutely up a creek without a paddle kind of lost. This whole thing started because I just could not, for the life of me, understand one person. I mean, not even a little bit. Every time I thought I had a handle on things, she’d pull a switcheroo, or maybe I was just misreading the whole darn situation. It was driving me nuts, you know? Like trying to debug a script that only fails once a week, and you never know exactly when. I spent weeks just feeling confused and frustrated. I had to figure it out, not for any deep reason, just because my brain doesn’t let go of a puzzle.
My Messy First Draft: The Observation Phase
I started the only way I know how: by just watching. I didn’t rush to Google first, because frankly, that stuff is always too flowery and useless. I wanted real-world data, the messy stuff. I started keeping this ridiculous notebook—a cheap spiral one I grabbed from the kitchen junk drawer. I didn’t write down deep thoughts; I wrote down actions. It was a hot mess of scribbles, maybe a date, and then some cryptic note like, “Folders arranged by date AND color,” or “Said ‘I’ll do it’ but clearly wanted me to offer help anyway.”
At first, there was no pattern. It just looked like a list of random quirks. I tried to group them, but my groups were things like “The Time She Cleaned the Grout” and “The Time She Was Silent for 20 Minutes.” Useless stuff. I needed to get to the core of why those actions were happening.
So, I tried a different approach. I started pestering my friends. Anyone who knew a Virgo woman—a sister, a cousin, an old boss, whatever—I wanted their honest, unfiltered rundown. No astrology talk, just tell me what they do. I didn’t even tell them why I was asking; I just said I was doing a weird personal psychology project. They all gave me different stories, but after a while, certain themes started echoing back, like a chorus that won’t shut up.
Boiling Down The Hundreds Into Ten
This is where the real work started. I had pages and pages of notes and maybe six semi-useful conversations. I took a weekend, spread all the papers out on the floor, and just started drawing lines connecting one note to another. I was looking for the common thread. Why does she organize the spices alphabetically AND worry about the cat’s mood? Why is she brutally honest about a bad haircut but then completely refuses to take a compliment?
I started with maybe twenty-five potential traits. That was way too many. No one is going to read twenty-five points. My goal was simple: make it a quick, punchy, useful guide for guys like me who were just scratching their heads. So I started combining, tossing out the fluff, and refining the language to be stuff I actually say, not some textbook nonsense. The “perfectionist” label, for example, got broken down into a few specific things that everyone sees in action.
I had to get it down to ten. It felt like a solid, digestible number. Not nine, not eleven. Ten. It took forever, but I finally pinned the ten things that showed up, either in my own observation or in the stories I collected, almost every single time. This is what I ended up with—the core of the matter, the stuff that lets you actually understand the operating system, so to speak.
The Final Ten Points I Landed On
After all that digging and connecting the dots, these are the ten characteristics that kept screaming for attention. I put them down in point form so I could reference them fast, and now so can anyone else.
- They are the Ultimate Organizers. This isn’t just neatness; it’s a need for a system. If it’s a mess, they literally can’t focus.
- They are Quietly Helpful. They don’t want the spotlight when they do you a favor. They’ll fix your flat tire and then disappear before you can thank them properly.
- They Worry About Everything. Seriously, everything. A plan B, a plan C, the weather next week, did they lock the back door three times?
- They Are Brutally Honest. If they ask for your opinion on their new jacket, they really want your opinion, not a compliment. Expect the same in return.
- They Overthink Everything. That silent period? They’re running a complex simulation in their head about something totally minor.
- They Are Extremely Private. You’ll get their deepest secrets, but only after a loyalty test that you didn’t even know you were taking for six months.
- They Will Criticize Themselves First. They are their own harshest critic. Any mess-up you see, trust me, they already beat themselves up about it five times worse.
- They Have Crazy High Standards. For themselves, their work, and yeah, for you too. It’s not about being stuck up; it’s about wanting things done right.
- They Are Loyal To a Fault. Once you’re in their inner circle, you’re locked in. They will show up for you, no matter how bad the time or place.
- They Are Grounded and Practical. Forget the big dreams and crazy schemes. They want a solid plan, a budget, and a clear path to a reasonable outcome.
It sounds simple when it’s all laid out like that, but getting from the chaos to these ten specific points was a massive project. But hey, it worked. All the confusion I had is basically gone now that I have this cheat sheet I wrote myself. I hope this saves someone else the headache I went through.
