Look, I’m not usually one for this star sign nonsense. Never have been. I always figured it was just newspaper filler they used to pad the pages. But something messed up happened in November 2023, and I mean really messed up. I lost that stupid little side gig I had running the social media for that local pizza place. Boss called me up, said my ‘vibe wasn’t aligning with their brand.’ Vibe? I was furious. I slammed the phone down and just sat there stewing, wondering where the next bit of cash was going to come from.
The Digging and the Disbelief
That night, I scrolled past this headline about Virgo’s November. Pure accident, not something I ever seek out. But the word “shine” caught me, since I felt pretty dim at the moment. So, I figured, what the heck? Let’s just read the darn thing, if only to laugh at it later. I pulled up the whole article. I printed it out and I got out my highlighter, the yellow one. I decided right then I was going to check it, line by line, against the absolute mess that month had been. This whole thing became a weird little, obsessive project of mine. I was going to treat the horoscope like a science experiment and see what happened.
I started with the love stuff. It claimed some planet or other was making things “intense and complicated.” That sounded about right, I guess. My main relationship had totally hit the wall that month, arguments over nothing, silence that lasted for hours. I pulled up the text message history. I counted the major arguments we had in the first two weeks of November. I went back and read the stupid, passive-aggressive texts I sent. The forecast mentioned a “need to communicate feelings clearly.” We absolutely did not. We bottled everything up until it just exploded. I marked up the piece of paper, circling where they kinda got it right and where they were totally off base, giving them a stupid little grade out of ten.
- I compared the advice to “seek stability” against the time I spontaneously booked a three-day, non-refundable flight to visit a friend I hadn’t spoken to in two years. I canceled it almost immediately.
- I measured the prediction of “passionate encounters” against the fact I spent three weekends playing video games alone, not even showering until noon. No passion there.
- I reviewed the warning about “misunderstandings rearing their ugly heads” and found I had exactly four separate text message blow-ups with four different people that month. They got the ‘misunderstanding’ bit spot on, but maybe it wasn’t the stars, maybe I was just being a jerk.
The Career Chaos Cross-Check
Then I moved onto the career part, the famous ‘shining’ section I had read in the headline. The forecast said something about “unexpected career shifts” and “new financial opportunities opening up.” I laughed out loud when I read that. Unexpected shift? Getting fired from a pizza social media gig? Really? I pulled out my bank statements from that period. I checked the dates where my usual money came in. Surprise, surprise, the main thing that shifted was my balance going down real fast. I tallyed up the remaining bills and felt my stomach drop.
But then, I looked closer at one little sentence. It spoke of “a hidden skill finally being utilized in a new financial venture.” This is where it got weird and maybe a little creepy. That very same week I was fired, my old college buddy called me up out of the blue. He needed someone to set up a simple e-commerce site for his mom’s craft business. Nothing fancy, just a basic storefront using a platform I knew. It was something I had done maybe once, years ago, but I’m actually pretty quick with code when I’m motivated. I wasn’t even charging what I should have, but I spent the next two weeks banging out this site and got paid way more for that small job than I ever did slinging pizza posts. It wasn’t a huge career shift, like a whole new job, but it was an unexpected opportunity based on a hidden skill I didn’t even realize I had listed on my old resume.
I finished my deep dive feeling strangely drained but also kind of pumped. I realized the universe isn’t a fortune-teller; it’s just a guy throwing darts at a board with a lot of vague words printed on it, and sometimes, one hits close enough to make you look really hard at your own life. The whole weird exercise of tracking my life against that crazy piece of writing forced me to actually process why that month felt so rotten and then why things suddenly picked up. I closed my laptop, tossed the heavily marked-up paper into the recycling bin, and decided I’d rather make my own stars shine than wait for some monthly column to tell me they would. I’ve been doing pretty well on that coding gig ever since.
