So, you know, I’ve been messing around with tarot for a good while now, and when that Hermit card pops up in a love reading, it used to be a real head-scratcher for me. I mean, solitude, introspection, turning inward – what the heck does that have to do with romance? My first thought, honest to goodness, was always “Oh man, this relationship is DOA.” Or “Someone’s about to ghost.” Not exactly uplifting stuff, right?
At first, when I’d pull it for someone asking about their partner, I’d just kinda mumble about needing space or something equally vague. I’d try to smooth it over, like, “Maybe they just need to think things through,” hoping it wasn’t as bad as I pictured. But deep down, I always pictured a break-up looming. It just seemed so… lonely. And who wants lonely in a love reading?
Things started to shift for me after I saw it show up in a few readings where the couple was actually doing pretty well, at least on the surface. That confused me even more. It forced me to actually sit with it, really dig into what that old guy with the lantern was trying to say beyond just “being alone.” I started thinking, maybe it’s not about being literally alone, but about a certain kind of focus. Like, pulling back the focus from the other person and putting it squarely on oneself.
I remember one time, my friend pulled it for her on-again, off-again situation. She was always chasing this guy, trying to fix things, always worried about what he wanted. When the Hermit came up, I blurted out, “Stop chasing! Seriously, just stop and look at yourself!” It was a pretty raw moment. And she did. She stopped blowing up his phone, she stopped planning all their dates, she just… focused on her own life, her own hobbies, her own friends. She took a step back from them and put that energy into her. And guess what? He actually came back around, confused why she wasn’t chasing anymore.
That really cemented it for me. It wasn’t about the relationship ending; it was about the individual’s journey within the relationship, or towards one. It’s about getting real with yourself, you know? Asking the tough questions:
- “What do I really want?”
- “Am I happy with who I am right now?”
- “Am I bringing my best self into this partnership?”
- “Am I relying too much on someone else for my own happiness?”
I started seeing the Hermit as a call to self-discovery. It’s not about being isolated forever. It’s about a period of introspection so you can come back stronger, clearer, and more authentic. It’s like, you gotta go into your own cave for a bit, light up your own lantern, and figure your own stuff out. Then, and only then, can you truly shine and connect with someone else in a meaningful way.
So now, when I see that Hermit card in a love spread, I don’t freak out. I actually see it as a really powerful, positive sign. It’s not a death knell; it’s a detour for growth. It means it’s time to:
Take a Step Back
Just pause. Don’t rush into decisions. Don’t push things. Give yourself, or your partner, some breathing room to really think.
Look Inward
Ask yourself what you truly need and want from a relationship. Are you projecting your own insecurities onto your partner? Are you even being true to yourself? Are you relying on them too much? It’s not about finding flaws; it’s about finding clarity.
Reconnect with Yourself
What makes you happy, independent of your partner? Pursue your own passions, spend time with your own thoughts. Build your own inner world so you’re not constantly looking outside yourself for fulfillment. Make sure your own cup is full.
Seek Wisdom and Guidance (from yourself!)
The Hermit carries a lantern. That’s about shedding light on hidden truths. It’s about finding your inner wisdom. Sometimes, you gotta shut out the noise of others, even your partner, to hear your own inner voice. It helps you see the relationship, and your role in it, with fresh eyes.
It’s really about individual wholeness. A healthy relationship isn’t two halves making a whole; it’s two whole people coming together. The Hermit reminds you to make sure you are whole before trying to intertwine too deeply with another. It might mean a temporary period of less outward interaction, but it’s always for the greater good, leading to a more grounded, honest, and ultimately stronger connection. Or, if it’s meant to end, it gives you the strength to stand on your own two feet, ready for whatever’s next. It’s a powerful push towards self-sufficiency in love, and honestly, that’s advice we could all use more often.
