Man, November 2023 hit me like a ton of bricks. I was just stuck, you know? Like, really stuck. Every morning felt the same, dragging myself out of bed to do the same old routine, staring at the same old screen. I remember just sitting there, staring out the window, asking myself if this was it. Was this really the ‘path’ everyone keeps talking about? Felt more like a rut to me.
I’d been in the same gig for a few years, and honestly, at first, it was cool. New challenges, new people, all that jazz. But slowly, it just… dulled. The spark was gone. And by November, it wasn’t just dull, it was draining. I felt this intense need to figure something out, to find something more, something different, but had no clue where to even start. It was like standing in a thick fog, spinning in circles, totally lost.
My brain just wouldn’t quit. I was overthinking everything, dissecting every single task, every conversation, trying to find some hidden meaning or a sign pointing me in the right direction. It was exhausting. I started with the basics, just trying to clear my head a bit. I picked up running again, something I used to love. Just pounding the pavement, trying to empty my mind of all the swirling thoughts. Didn’t solve anything directly, but it definitely helped quiet the noise enough to actually hear myself think, sometimes.
Then I moved onto the more ‘practical’ stuff. I started lurking on all those career advice forums, reading endless articles about ‘finding your passion’ and ‘making a pivot.’ Most of it felt like fluff, honestly, just generic advice that didn’t apply to my specific brand of lost. But a few things clicked. One common piece of advice was to just try things. Anything. Even small stuff.
So, that’s what I did. I started dabbling. I always had this half-baked idea about getting into digital art, so I actually bought a cheap tablet and started messing around. It was terrible, absolutely awful, but it was something. It was a break from the usual. Then I thought about writing. I used to write stories as a kid. So I started a private journal, just dumping thoughts and observations. No pressure, no audience, just me and the blank page. That felt surprisingly good.
Next, I reached out to a few folks I knew, people who seemed happy in their jobs. Just casual chats, nothing formal. I just wanted to hear their stories, how they got where they were. What did they like? What did they hate? I remember talking to my old college roommate, Mark. He’d completely switched industries a few years back. He told me it wasn’t some grand plan, just a lot of small steps and not being afraid to look stupid when trying something new. That really stuck with me.
I also spent a few nights just tearing apart my resume, not to send out, but just to look at it differently. What skills did I actually enjoy using? What achievements made me feel genuinely proud? And more importantly, what skills did I have that I absolutely dreaded performing? This exercise, painful as it was, actually started to create some sort of pattern in my head. I started seeing threads, things I was good at and things I liked doing, even if they weren’t directly related to my current job title.
It wasn’t an instant epiphany, not by a long shot. It was more like slowly, painstakingly, pulling back layers of a really stubborn onion. But piece by piece, an idea started to form. It wasn’t about finding a whole new career from scratch, not necessarily. It was about leveraging some of the skills I already had, but in a different context, with a different focus. A focus that actually made me feel like I was building something, not just maintaining it.
By the end of November, I had a rough plan. Not a perfectly polished, detailed blueprint, because that’s just not how I roll anymore. But a direction. A nudge. I started looking for roles that emphasized a specific skill set I’d identified and genuinely enjoyed – more creative problem-solving, less routine maintenance. I wasn’t just blindly applying; I was targeting. And you know what? It started feeling… lighter. The fog was still there sometimes, but now I had a compass, even if it was a bit wobbly.
I’m still on that path, still figuring things out. It’s not like all my problems vanished overnight. But that November, that period of intense searching and trying, it changed something for me. It showed me that the path isn’t just handed to you; you gotta build it yourself, piece by piece, sometimes stumbling, sometimes walking straight, but always moving forward.
