Man, when it came to 2017 and my love life, I didn’t just glance at that Virgo love horoscope, I practically lived by it for a while. A guide, it called itself. A guide! I mean, who doesn’t want a map for that crazy territory? I remember picking up that glossy magazine, folded open right to the Virgo section, feeling like this was going to be the year everything clicked into place. I was single, ready to mingle, and desperate for some cosmic insight, you know?
The first thing it hammered home was about ‘communication being key’ for Virgos that year. It said to ‘express your feelings openly and honestly.’ So, I took that to heart. I started really trying to talk things out with guys I was seeing, instead of just bottling it up. There was this one dude, Tom, who I’d been on a few dates with. He was decent, but I wasn’t feeling that spark. The horoscope was like, ‘don’t hold back, clarify your desires!’ So, I actually, like, sat him down and said, “Look, I think you’re great, but I’m just not feeling it.” His face was priceless. I swear he thought I was about to confess my undying love. It was awkward as hell, but I did it. Thanks, horoscope, for that piece of advice, I guess.
Then it talked about ‘unexpected encounters showing up mid-year.’ Oh boy, did I lean into that. Spring started to roll into summer, and I was on high alert for anything unexpected. Every new person I met, I was sizing them up. Was this the encounter? I went to a bunch of random events I normally wouldn’t, just to increase my chances. A pottery class, a terrible speed dating night, even a weird art show. It was a total whirlwind. I met this guy, Mike, at a friend’s BBQ. He was funny, a bit goofy, and totally not my usual type. The horoscope popped into my head, ‘unexpected!’ So, I pushed myself to give him a shot. We went out a couple of times. He was nice. Really nice. But there was just… nothing there for me. Absolutely zilch. Another dead end that I blamed the stars for getting my hopes up about.
The horoscope had this whole section about ‘deepening existing relationships’ too. And I was like, “Okay, but which ones?” I had a couple of long-term crushes that hadn’t really gone anywhere, you know, the kind where you just sort of text every now and then. So, I started putting more effort into those. There was Mark, a college friend who I always had a soft spot for. We’d reconnect every few years, but nothing serious. This ‘guide’ made me think, “This is it! Time to deepen!” I started calling him more, suggesting we hang out, really trying to put myself out there for him. He was… receptive, but also kinda busy with his own stuff. It felt like I was rowing a boat by myself. So much for deepening. It was more like dredging up old feelings that should have stayed buried.
Honestly, looking back, it was a total mess, trying to make sense of my life through those blurry star charts. It’s like, these horoscopes, they give you all these vague bits – “trust your intuition,” “be open to possibilities” – but then you’re left hanging when real life hits. Like, it told me ‘be open to new possibilities,’ but what about the actual how? Didn’t mention that part. It talked about ‘finding stability’ as a core theme. Stability, my foot! I was bouncing between three different dating apps, trying to ‘deepen’ a connection that barely existed with a guy named Tom, and then there was Sarah, who was just… complicated. My life felt anything but stable. I was just patching things up, trying to fit round pegs in square holes, feeling like my heart was split into different teams, all battling it out for some kind of “win.”
So, why am I even telling you this?
Well, it’s funny, just the other day, I was sorting through some old junk in my attic, you know, clearing out stuff after… well, after things ended with Mark. Again. For the third time. And there it was. This tattered old magazine, folded open to the ‘Virgo Love Horoscope 2017.’ A guide, it called itself. A guide! I almost tossed it straight into the recycling bin, but something made me pause.
That horoscope blabbered on about ‘deepening existing relationships’ and ‘finding stability.’ Stability, my foot! Mark and I tried to make it work, really we did. For a few months at the end of 2017 and into 2018, it felt like maybe, just maybe, the horoscope was right. But then his work got crazy, I got new responsibilities, and suddenly, all that ‘deepening’ just turned into ‘drifting.’ We spent more time bickering about whose turn it was to do dishes than actually connecting. The ‘stability’ it promised? More like a wobbly chair with one short leg. We limped along for a while, but it was just not meant to be. It was another cycle of me trying to force something because some mystical ‘guide’ said it was in the cards.
It promised ‘unexpected romance’ in spring. Spring came and went in 2017, and all I unexpectedly found was a flat tire and a nasty flu. Romance was nowhere to be found, unless you count arguing with my landlord about the leaking roof. This horoscope guide, it kept pushing me to ‘trust my intuition’ regarding a new person. So I did. I really thought this guy, Mike, who I met at the gym earlier that year, was ‘the one’ it was hinting at, the ‘unexpected’ one. Turns out, his intuition was telling him to ghost me after two dates, and my intuition was apparently on vacation that entire year, because it got nothing right!
By the absolute bitter end of 2017, that horoscope was still yammering on about ‘long-term commitments forming.’ Me? I committed to buying a cat. A fluffy, adorable, non-ghosting cat. That was my ‘long-term commitment.’ I blocked out all those ‘cosmic energies’ and just focused on what was real, what was tangible, and what actually brought me joy – a purring furball. I remember thinking, “Screw this guide. I’m making my own damn guide.”
And now, here I am, years later, finding this ‘guide’ again. A guide, alright. A guide to how much I probably shouldn’t rely on general horoscopes to chart my actual messy, beautiful, completely unpredictable life. It’s funny because after all that trying to follow what the stars supposedly had planned, my life actually took a turn for the better when I stopped trying to force it and just lived. The cat, by the way, is still with me. He’s pretty stable. And completely committed to me. Better than any horoscope prediction, I tell ya.
