Okay so I decided to test out these quick cash tips people keep pushing for Virgos this week. Honestly, skeptical as hell, but what’s the worst that could happen? Let me tell you step by step how it actually played out.
The Starting Point & The Plan
First off, checked that weekly horoscope everyone’s buzzing about. Said Virgos need to get real analytical to unlock sudden money bursts this week. Right. Top suggestions were: declutter workspace for “energy flow”, make a super detailed budget plan, and apparently joining some group meditation thing. Also, stocks? Big emphasis on checking stocks related to mercury. Okay, fine. Made a rough schedule:
- Monday: Full desk/office tear down. Purge the clutter.
- Tuesday: Build a bulletproof budget. Find where the leaks are.
- Wednesday: Try that free online Virgo cash flow meditation.
- Thursday: Research & maybe buy those Mercury-aligned stocks.
Simple enough. Grabbed my notebook – gonna track everything, even the weird vibes.
Actually Doing The Thing
Monday’s Purge: Started aggressively. Pulled everything off my desk, shelves, the floor… piles of paper hell. Found like 5 forgotten pens and a stale granola bar. Feels cleaner? Maybe? No cash magically appeared though. Cat seemed happier with the open space, so that’s something. Wrote down: “Desk clear. Wallet still empty.”
Tuesday’s Budget Blitz: Sat down with coffee, bank statements, and sheer determination. Tracked EVERY damn expense for last month. Saw how much I blew on takeout coffee instantly – felt bad. Made a tight new budget, color-coded like a Virgo would. “Next month’s savings target: $X”. Felt vaguely responsible. Still no unexpected cash hitting my account. Hoped Wednesday would deliver.
Wednesday’s Woowoo Attempt: Found a 30-minute “Manifest Virgo Abundance” meditation on a big video site. Fought the urge to roll my eyes. Lit a candle, closed the door, tried to “focus my Virgo earth energy towards wealth.” Mostly felt stiff and kept thinking about laundry. Finished it. Checked my bank balance immediately after. Zero change. Felt… silly. Wrote: “Meditated. Balance unchanged. Laundry still not done.”
Thursday’s Risky Move: The stocks bit. The horoscope specifically said look at sectors tied to Mercury – travel, tech, communication? Did some fast research on a few companies fitting that. Felt impulsive but kinda hopeful. Spent $500 – money I was supposed to “attract,” not spend! – buying small shares in two different ones. Stomach knotted a bit. Tracked it: “Bought $XYZ & $ABC @ price. Total out: $500. Godspeed, Mercury.”
So… Did the Cash Appear?
Let’s be brutally honest here.
- Decluttering: My office looks nice now. Zero direct cash impact. Found a $5 bill in an old jacket pocket later though. Profit?
- Budgeting: Super useful! Found savings opportunities. Actual future cash gain potential: High! But not “fast.”
- Meditation: Wasted 30 minutes. Felt peaceful for like… 2 minutes. No cash benefit. Might do it again when stressed, but not for money.
- Stocks: That $500? $XYZ went up slightly yesterday (+$25!). $ABC tanked overnight (-$75!). Currently net DOWN $50. “Fast cash” my ass. Holding onto them feels like holding a bag of spiders now.
The Raw Verdict
Look, cleaning and budgeting are solid adult moves. Definitely recommend them, Virgo or not. The meditation felt pointless for attracting money. The stock tip? Playing with fire based on a horoscope is dumb. I lost $50 in 24 hours chasing that “Mercury alignment.” The only “fast cash” was finding that forgotten $5, which barely covers the coffee I stressed-drank. If “top ways to attract cash fast” means deep cleaning for loose change and gambling on stocks with vague astro advice… nah. Stick to the cleaning and budgeting. Save the gamble money for strawberry yogurt. At least you know what you’re getting.
End of Week Note: Stocks are still fluctuating. Tempted to sell the loser and cut my losses. Budget still looks good. Office still clean. Vibes? Mixed. Money magnet? Apparently not this week.
