Okay so it’s the start of 2022, right? My buddy Mike slides into my DMs like “yo check this Virgo career horoscope thing”. Normally I’d laugh it off but honestly? My job had me feeling like a hamster on a wheel. Figured what’s the harm peeping at some stars for career advice.
How It Went Down
First I pulled up the predictions on my cracked phone screen during lunch break. Horoscope said Virgos should “embrace organizational chaos” and “take calculated risks before spring”. Made me snort my coffee cause my desk looked like a tornado hit it. But then the key tips got me:
- Stop overthinking decisions
- Ask for that promotion now
- Network sideways not just upwards
That “stop overthinking” bit stabbed me right in the soul. Spent 3 whole days analyzing whether to apply for the team lead spot. Finally said screw it, slapped together an application while microwaving leftovers at midnight.
The Actual Trying Part
Following the “network sideways” advice felt mad awkward at first. Instead of sucking up to managers, I started grabbing coffee with the design girl Sarah from accounting. Turns out she was drowning in spreadsheets while I was struggling with graphics tools. We ended up bartering skills like goddamn pirates – I’d fix her Excel formulas, she’d tweak my presentations.
When review time came, I didn’t just beg for promotion like usual. Came armed with proof like Sarah’s testimonials and numbers showing how my “calculated risks” saved time on projects. Felt like bringing a bazooka to a knife fight compared to past years.
What Actually Happened
Boss looked shook when I asked point-blank about the promotion. Didn’t get the team lead gig (shocker), BUT got bumped to senior specialist with 15% raise. More surprising? Sarah hooked me up with freelance gig through her cousin’s startup. That random horoscope tip literally paid my Vegas trip last summer.
Biggest takeaway? Should’ve networked sideways ages ago. Was so obsessed with climbing upward I never noticed the goldmine beside me. Still keep the horoscope bookmarked for laughs though – wonder if the stars feel smug watching me actually implement their junk.
