So yesterday morning I’m cleaning out my old planner – you know, Virgo thing – when I stumble on this money horoscope thing for 2024. Figured, what the hell? Might as well try it step-by-step like they suggest, see if it actually works for real people.
Phase One: Setting Up My Tracking System
First, I grabbed my worn-out notebook – the one with coffee stains from last winter. The horoscope kept yapping about Mercury ruling Virgo and needing precision, so I flipped to a fresh page and scribbled three columns:
- Daily spending (even that $3.50 coffee)
- Random income ideas (like selling dusty DVDs on Marketplace)
- Planet transits dates (Googled like mad)
Felt kinda ridiculous writing “Jupiter enters Taurus May 25th” next to my grocery list.
Phase Two: Actually Trying the Damn Advice
Those planetary transits? Yeah, they became my weird calendar. When Mercury went retrograde in April, the horoscope screamed “REVIEW CONTRACTS.” So I dug out my freelance gig paperwork – found two clients paying 10% less than agreed! Shot them polite emails (Virgo style) with contract snapshots. One fixed it immediately; the other ghosted me. Win some, lose some.
Then came June – Mars in Virgo territory. The prediction said “ENERGY FOR NEW VENTURES.” I hate networking, but forced myself to message three old contacts about side projects. One replied with a $500 editing gig! Sent them an invoice same day – did NOT wait, like the horoscope warned.
Phase Three: Where Reality Kicked My Ass
Not all cosmic advice panned out. That “lucky investment opportunity during Venus trine Pluto” in July? Threw $100 into some crypto a finance subreddit hyped. It immediately tanked 60%. Cussed at my laptop for fifteen minutes straight.
Ended up tracking every penny until August – even that crypto disaster. And you know what? Seeing numbers laid out ugly and honest did show me patterns: I wasted $200/month on subscriptions I forgot about! Canceled four right then.
So… Did the Stars Deliver Riches?
Hell no. But forcing myself through their “planetary timing” nonsense made me hyper-aware of my money habits. Found $1,800 total – half from chasing invoices, half from cutting stupid spending. Still mad about that $60 crypto leftover. Lesson learned? Horoscopes give structure, not magic. Virgos like checklists anyway. Just keep your common sense sharper than Mercury’s retrogrades.
