So this week I got bored with regular horoscopes and thought “Why not test-drive a Virgo weekly prediction myself?” Don’t even ask why Virgo – just picked it randomly while drinking cold brew at 7 AM. Grabbed my phone, pulled up some astrology sites, and skimmed like four different predictions. Most said similar stuff about work, health, and surprise events. Alright, game on.
Monday Morning Kickoff
Started by writing all three top predictions on a sticky note:
- Work stuff might get approved unexpectedly
- Pay attention to health or you’ll crash
- Random surprise could throw plans out the window
Slapped it on my laptop like some kinda manifesto. My cat knocked my coffee over while I was doing this. Omen? Maybe. Messy AF.
Fake Productivity Mode Activated
Prediction #1 was about work luck. So on Tuesday I dragged myself into a boring budget meeting. Halfway through zoning out, I suddenly blurted out “What if we pause the merch redesign?” Dead silence. Then my boss goes “Actually… yeah.” Team looked shook. Meanwhile I’m internally screaming “Holy crap it worked?” Got credited as “proactive” when really I just hated those design drafts. Astrology 1, common sense 0.
Cooking Disaster Incoming
Wednesday’s health warning hit different. Skipped lunch because “too busy” (scrolling TikTok). By 3 PM stomach growled like a bear. Decided to “meal prep” – dumped quinoa, random veggies, and questionable soy sauce in a pan. Smelled like wet socks. Ate three bites before giving up. Woke up Thursday feeling like I swallowed bricks. Should’ve listened to that health advice. Ordered greasy noodles for lunch feeling stupid.
The Plot Twist
Friday morning all smug about finishing the “experiment”. Then ding – best friend texts “Surprise! Divorced my jerk husband! At the airport! Pick me up!” Cancelled movie night, drove through insane traffic, bought emergency tequila. Her suitcase exploded in my trunk. Weekend plans? Dead. Prediction #3 nailed it while laughing at me.
So Did It Work?
Kinda? Got weirdly lucky at work. Definitely ignored health advice and paid the price. Got blindsided by a life bomb. Mostly felt like basic life stuff dressed up as stars. Would I do it again? Sure – but next time I’ll add coffee spill predictions. The cat owes me one.
