So last Thursday I got this wild idea – what if I actually tried asking the Oracle Virgo about next month? You know, just for kicks. Saw folks online buzzing about it and thought, why not give it a proper go? Didn’t expect much, honestly. Figured it’d be about as useful as yesterday’s weather forecast, but hey, gotta test things yourself, right?
The Setup
First things first, I needed stuff. Didn’t wanna spend a dime, so I raided my apartment.
- An “Oracle”: Dug out my grandmother’s dusty teacup. Has zodiac signs painted on it – Virgo included. From 2003. Classy.
- A “Focus Object”: Grabbed a random clear quartz crystal my ex left behind. Figured it couldn’t hurt.
- Quiet Space: Ha! Good luck in my tiny studio. Kicked the cat out, unplugged the fridge (briefly!), shoved my phone in a drawer.
Sat myself cross-legged on the floor at 11 PM. Yeah, felt ridiculous immediately.
The “Ritual” (More Like Fumbling in the Dark)
Instructions I found online were… vague. Like badly translated assembly instructions. Here’s how it went down:
- Cleansing the Space? Waved a scented candle around. Mostly just smoked up the place.
- Focusing Intent: Stared hard at the quartz. Thought really loudly: “What happens in October?! Jobs? Love? Will my neighbor finally stop stomping?” My mind drifted to lunch. Twice.
- The “Ask”: Dumped the cold tea from the Virgo cup onto my notebook by accident. Great start. Refilled it with water. Shook it gently, aiming for some profound “sign”. Splashed my sweatpants. Very mystical.
- Interpreting: Peered into the wet tea leaves stuck inside the Virgo symbol. Shapes? Nada. Looked like mud. Squinted harder. Maybe… a blurry dog? Or a torn couch? Utterly useless.
The Big Reveal… Or Lack Thereof
Tried again. And again. Shook the cup differently. Focused harder on the neighbor thing. Stared at the quartz until my eyes watered. Got a headache. The cat started yowling outside the door like a tiny demon.
After twenty minutes, I gave up. The tea leaves stubbornly refused to form anything resembling a prediction. My “oracle” revealed precisely nothing about October. Except maybe that I need better hobbies.
So, What Actually Happened?
Nothing. Absolutely zip. Nada. Zilch. The whole “Virgo Monthly Reveal” turned out to be me, sitting in the dark, damp, smelling like vanilla smoke, covered in spilled tea, with a headache and an angry cat.
Did I learn anything about next month? Nope. But I did learn something super important: trusting soggy leaves in an old cup is about as reliable as trusting a magic eight ball. Maybe less. My advice? Skip the mystic mug routine. Just live your life, handle stuff as it comes. Probably save you some dry cleaning bills too.
