So listen, don’t even start laughing, okay? I stumbled across this Virgo weekly love advice from Susan Miller—yeah, that astrology lady everyone talks about. Total skeptic here, but my roommate’s obsessed. Figured, “Eh, boring Tuesday, why not?” Might as well take this advice for a spin. Let’s see what happens.
The Setup
First thing Susan pushed: clear communication is KEY this week. Virgos, apparently, gotta talk straight or things blow up. Real talk? I suck at that. Had this stupid work crush on Matt in accounting for months—awkward eye contact, zero words. Classic disaster. Her advice? “Express needs simply.” Fine. Let’s test it. Tuesday morning, I rehearsed garbage like “Hey Matt, wanna grab coffee?” in the mirror. Felt ridiculous.
Attempt #1: Epic Fail
Wednesday lunch time. Saw Matt microwaving leftover pasta near the break room. Perfect moment, right? Susan’s stars demanded action. Walked straight in there—heart pounding—opened my mouth… and said, “Uh… nice pasta.” Total crap. Dude looked confused. I literally spun around and walked out so fast my shoe squeaked. So much for clarity. Called my roommate, ranting about astrology being useless.
Plan B – Text Messaging?
Thursday morning Susan’s update lands. Now she’s pushing about “written words carrying power.” Whatever. Had enough of face-to-face humiliation. Pulled out my phone during my coffee break, fingers shaking. Typed out: “Hey Matt, coffee sometime? – [MY NAME]” and hit send before I could chicken out. Then I panicked, chucked my phone into my desk drawer like it was on fire. Couldn’t watch it buzz. Or not buzz.
The Weird Part…
Two hours later, grabbed my phone. Battery dead from ignoring it. Plugged it in—and boom. A reply notification. “Sure, free after 3pm? – Matt”. Couldn’t believe it. Felt oddly cold… efficient. Just how Virgos supposedly like it, Susan claimed.
The Coffee Debrief
Friday at 3:15pm we sat at that cafe across the street. Super basic convo. Work stuff, his dog, my weird Netflix habits—kept it surface-level. No fireworks. Susan said it’d be “grounded discussions leading to clarity,” which honestly… nailed it. Didn’t pour my soul out. Just cleared that awkward tension. And turns out? Matt’s actually seeing someone—just moved slow ’cause he thought I was intimidating. Total plot twist, right? So yeah.
My Verdict
Did I solve my love life? Nope. Still single as ever. But Susan’s push for straightforward communication? I’ll grudgingly admit… it worked better than my pasta commentary. Did the stars force this? Nah. But forcing myself to try her advice? Yeah. Got things moving. Would I do it again? Maybe not the mirror practice. But texting instead of choking? Absolutely.
Virgos, I guess? Clear words might not be magic… but at least you avoid squeaky shoes. #babyastrologysteps #didntdie
