So today I figured I’d try out one of those monthly horoscope things specifically for Virgos called “Astro Girl Virgo Monthly Horoscope.” Sounds fancy right? They claim it’s got expert advice tailored just for us perfectionists. Honestly? I rolled my eyes but curiosity got me.
First Impressions Were…Meh
Opened it up expecting some deep cosmic wisdom. Started reading and it basically said: “Hey Virgo! Slow down, organize your sock drawer.” I swear. My actual sock drawer is already color-coded! Felt kinda generic, not the personalized “Just For You” vibe I was hoping for. Maybe they meant my metaphorical sock drawer?
It kept talking about Mercury being all over the place messing with communication. Had a flashback to Tuesday:
- Tried explaining the WiFi router issue to my roommate.
- Ended up sounding like I was describing a squirrel migration.
- She looked genuinely concerned for my mental health.
Okay, point taken Astro Girl. Mercury retrograde sucks.
The “Expert Advice” Part
The big expert tip boiled down to: “Say NO more often.” Laughed out loud. Classic Virgo problem. Here’s how that advice played out immediately in my week:
- Monday: Coworker asked if I could handle their report. My mouth said “Sure!” My brain screamed “NO!”
- Wednesday: Friend guilt-tripped me into joining their questionable pottery class. My hands are still crusty.
Saying “no” is officially harder than calculus. The horoscope nailed the struggle but didn’t provide the magic “how-to” manual. Disappointing.
Did I Actually Use Any of This?
Okay, maybe one thing. It mentioned “Focus on small wins, not the whole mountain.” My current mountain? Planning a family reunion. It’s hell. So yesterday, instead of panicking about cousin Larry’s dietary demands, I just:
- Booked the damn veggie platter.
- Called it a win.
- Ate a cookie.
Felt weirdly satisfying. Small win unlocked, thanks I guess? Still overwhelmed, but slightly less than before.
Final Verdict
Mixed bag. Some bits felt like recycled Virgo memes. The “personalized” expert advice wasn’t exactly a revelation – more like common sense with stars sprinkled on top. But that “small wins” tip? Legit saved me from spiraling over veggie dip logistics. And confirming Mercury is making me sound nuts? Weirdly comforting.
Would I pay for this? Nah. But will I peek at it again next month when I feel like my sock drawer (both literal and metaphorical) is imploding? Probably. Still feels a bit like cosmic fortune cookies, but hey, sometimes you just need someone to tell you to chill out and eat the cookie.
