So I’m start this whole thing ’cause my friend Linda kept buggin’ me ’bout her Virgo horoscope. Said AstroStyle’s monthly thing was like magic or somethin’. Figured why not actually track it day by day? Crazy idea right? But I did it.
Setup Stuff
Grabbed my beat-up notebook – the green one with coffee stains. Wrote “Virgo Aug 2023 BS Meter Test” real big on top. Then split pages: Left side for what AstroStyle predicted, right side for what actually went down. Taped the horoscope printout inside the cover so I wouldn’t lose it.
The Daily Grind
Every morning before checkin’ my phone, I’d read that day’s snippet. Stuff like:
- “Mercury retrograde means tech fails! Double-save documents!”
- “Unexpected money drama around the 12th, Virgo!”
- “Romantic tension peaks mid-month, talk it out!”
Then I’d scribble that junk in the book. End of day, I’d write what actually happened. Got real specific:
- Aug 12th prediction said “major cashflow shock” – but my dumb check just got delayed ’cause HR messed up payroll again.
- That “tech catastrophe” warning? My router flickered twice. That’s it.
- And that “big love confession” it promised? Nah. My cat just puked on the rug.
The Weird Part
Third week rolls around and guess what? My boss finally yelled about deadlines – same dang week AstroStyle said “authority figures test patience.” Almost choked on my coffee. But then next day it claimed I’d “meet a soulmate” and all I met was the mailman delivering Amazon crap.
Final Tally
After 31 days flipin’ pages:
- Straight up wrong predictions: like 19 days worth
- Kinda sorta maybe close? 7 days
- Dead-on freakish moments: 5 days (still suspicious ’bout those)
Told Linda the horoscope’s about as accurate as my drunk uncle predictin’ lottery numbers. But hey – was fun watchin’ life like some weird science project. Next month? Maybe test if carryin’ a rabbit’s foot actually does anything…
