Okay, so I’ve been curious about those astrology apps, right? Especially ones promising career tips. Saw Astroyogi Virgo Monthly popping up everywhere, so I figured, why not? Grabbed my phone, opened the app store thing, and typed “Astroyogi.” Hit install while making coffee.
Setting Up the Monthly Thing
First, it asked for birthday, time, and place – like 9 AM, September whatever, my hometown. Then bang, it shoved like twenty permission requests at me. Location access? Nah, skipped that. Notifications? Yeah, fine, whatever. Then it demanded my email before showing anything. Ugh. Typed in my spam account.
What Actually Happened
Clicked “Virgo Monthly” and got this giant wall of text. Seriously, paragraphs about Mercury this, Saturn that. My eyes glazed over halfway. Scrolled down looking for bullet points or something useful. Found two sections:
- Career bit: Said something like “Networking opportunities arise mid-month” and “Avoid rushed decisions after 20th.” Vague as heck. Like, duh, don’t make dumb choices – thanks, stars?
- Luck section: Told me my “lucky color” was blue and to “expect surprises” near water. I drank water from a blue cup all day. Nothing happened. Not even a free coffee.
The Weird Upsell Trap
At the bottom, big flashy button yelling “UNLOCK DEEPER INSIGHTS WITH PRO!” Clicked it just to see. Bam! Paywall. $15/month for “personalized planetary guidance.” Closed that junk immediately. Later, got spammed with “Your Virgo report is WAITING!” emails. Deleted ’em all.
My Takeaway?
Honestly, felt like a horoscope ripped from a magazine but with extra steps. The career “advice” was so general it could fit anyone. Luck part? Total fluff. Maybe fun if you’re into mystic stuff, but if you’re job-hunting or stressing about bills, this ain’t gonna help. Waste of five minutes. Might check next month if I’m bored. Or not.
