So last week I realized I messed up big time with my Virgo coworker Sarah. We were supposed to team up on this project and I totally blew it by assuming she’d wanna brainstorm out loud like I do. Yeah… not great. That awkward silence when I asked for instant feedback? Brutal. Woke me up though – figured I better actually learn how her mind works instead of guessing.
First Step: Actually Paying Attention (Shocker, Right?)
Decided to stop talking for once and just watch. Noticed things fast. Like when she emailed project notes instead of chatting – crystal clear bullet points, zero fluff. Or how she rearranged our shared docs folder at 11 PM “for better workflow.” Totally voluntary. Yeah, obsessive detail vibes. My messy desk probably gave her hives.
Got curious. Started asking specific questions instead of “How’s it going?” Asked her opinion on the timeline spreadsheet. Whoa. She lit up, pointed out three hidden conflicts I missed, and had solutions ready. Lightbulb moment: precision makes her tick, not my vague “let’s vibe” approach.
Testing the Waters (Without Being Annoying)
Tried small adjustments based on what I saw:
- Prep before talking: Wrote down key points before our sync. No rambling. She nodded along – first time!
- Let her fix stuff: Showed her my draft presentation slides saying “Feel free to tweak.” Came back to color-coded comments and perfect margins. Win-win.
- Gave her space: Stopped popping by her desk unannounced. Slack messages? Detailed and scheduled. Her shoulders visibly relaxed.
The Big Revelation: It’s Not Personal, It’s Practical
Biggest lesson hit me over lunch. Saw her reorganize the shared kitchen pantry – labels facing out, expiration dates sorted. My first thought? “Dang, she hates chaos.” Not “She hates us.” Realized her critiques aren’t insults; her brain’s wired to optimize. That email analyzing my report’s “structural inefficiencies”? Pure Virgo efficiency speak – not a diss.
What Actually Works Now
After weeks of trial and error (mostly error), here’s what sticks:
- Be specific, not sentimental. “Can you proofread this by Friday?” works. “Does this feel right?” gets crickets.
- Trust her process. Her way looks slow… until it prevents 5 fires later. Hands off.
- Critique sandwich is useless. Direct + actionable = respect. Sugarcoating wastes her time.
- Notice the quiet effort. Point out that flaw she caught. Say thanks for revising the doc. She won’t ask for praise but damn, she earned it.
End result? Project launched smoother than ever. And Sarah? She brought me a flawlessly edited coffee order checklist yesterday. High praise from a Virgo. Bottom line: work with her brain, not against it. Stop taking her fixes personally – that’s literally how she shows she cares. Mind blown.
