So Monday morning, I’m scrolling through my feed feeling kinda bored when that “Virgo Cosmopolitan Weekly Horoscope” headline pops up. Now normally I wouldn’t give two hoots about astrology stuff, but honestly? I was procrastinating on laundry. Clicked it just for laughs.
The Setup Phase
Grabbed my beat-up notebook where I track gym progress – figured I’d dedicate two fresh pages to this experiment. Copied down every single prediction for Virgos:
- “Financial opportunities knock unexpectedly”
- “Passionate encounters electrify your midweek”
- “Creative projects gain momentum”
Slapped date stamps beside each point to track timing. Honestly felt silly scribbling “PASSIONATE ENCOUNTERS??” while my cat Judgy stared at me.
Real-Time Tracking Chaos
Tuesday: Got a call from bank about mortgage rate – that’s finance right? Wrote it down as “opportunity” though honestly it was just routine paperwork. Midweek excitement? Spilled coffee on white shirt. Electrifying? Only if you count the burning sensation.
Thursday: Decided to test the “avoid risks” warning. Skipped my usual shortcut through sketchy alley after work. Saved exactly 47 seconds… but stepped in dog poop on main sidewalk. Risk avoided? Debatable.
Friday: “Creative momentum” my ass. Spent 3 hours trying to fix Grandma’s WiFi instead of painting like planned. Unless you count creative swearing when router blinked red again.
The Big Reveal
Come Sunday night, laid all notes on kitchen table. My verification system:
- ✅ if specific prediction happened same day
- ⚠️ if vaguely adjacent
- ❌ for complete misses
Final score? One ⚠️ (that finance call), three ❌ (passion? risks? creativity?), and the dog poop incident which Cosmopolitan definitely didn’t cover.
Weirdest Part Though
Here’s the kicker – my buddy Dave texted Saturday asking why I kept staring at strangers in cafes all week. Turns out I was subconsciously hunting for those “passionate encounters” like some creep. Guess even when horoscopes fail spectacularly, they mess with your brain anyway.
So accuracy rating? Negative five stars. But as experiments go? 10/10 entertainment value. Still doing laundry though.
