So I stumbled across this weekly Virgo horoscope thing while scrolling through my feed the other night. Figured why not try it since it’s free and my life’s been kinda blah lately. Here’s how playing lab rat with those “love career money” tips actually went down.
Phase One: Love Advice Stuff
The horoscope said to “initiate tough conversations” with my partner this week. Ngl, that made me sweat – we’d been avoiding talking about wedding plans for months. Tuesday night I chugged two cups of coffee, walked into the living room, and blurted out “So about your mom wanting 500 guests…”
- Outcome: Got into a 3-hour argument about budget vs. expectations
- Surprise win: We actually booked a cheaper venue at 2AM when we were too tired to fight
Kinda brutal but hey? At least it’s sorted now.
Phase Two: Career Nonsense
The career bit claimed “saying yes to unexpected opportunities” would pay off. Wednesday morning, my boss asked if I wanted to lead this garbage internal rebranding project everyone’s been dodging.
Remembering the horoscope, I sighed and said yes. Spent Thursday trapped in meetings where Karen from marketing kept using words like “synergy” unironically. BUT then Friday happened:
- The CEO popped into our nightmare brainstorming session
- I accidentally roasted the old logo colors (“looks like expired ketchup”)
- He laughed and put me on the actual client project team
Still not sure if that counts as the horoscope working or just dumb luck.
Phase Three: Money Voodoo
Here’s where it got sketchy. Tip said “delay big purchases” but my car’s been making death rattles. Waited until yesterday when the mechanic said my brakes were literally crumbling.
Panic-bought brake pads at 400 bucks instead of getting full service. Today? Realized I need new rotators too – now it’ll cost twice as much. Thanks horoscope for teaching me that sometimes adults can’t wait for planetary alignment to fix their crapboxes.
The Aftermath
Checked next week’s “predictions” for funsies. Apparently I should “embrace spontaneity” and “invest in friendships”. Absolutely not doing that after this week’s chaos. Might use the career momentum though? But honestly this astrology stuff feels like throwing darts blindfolded and calling whatever it hits the target. Still weirdly addictive tho.
