So I saw this John Hayes Virgo monthly predictions thing floating around and honestly? It looked like a tangled mess of astrology words at first glance. Typical Virgo overcomplicating things, right? But hey, I figured why not try and crack it myself? Needed something to distract me after Tuesday’s coffee machine disaster at work. Here’s exactly how I tackled it, step by stumbling step.
First step? I just stared at the darn thing. Found the main prediction page everyone was sharing – big paragraphs talking about Mercury and hidden opportunities and cosmic alignments. Honestly, felt like reading a furniture assembly manual written in ancient Greek. My eyes were glazing over faster than a donut.
Breaking Down The Word Soup
Right, needed a plan. Figured I’d try picking out the core bits everyone actually talks about:
- Planet Vibes: Focused purely on the planets he mentioned for Virgo this month. Mercury this, Venus that… ignored the fancy jargon.
- Time Zones: Heard whispers about dates mattering. Scanned the text for anything like “around the 18th” or “mid-month energy shift”. Highlighted those suckers.
- The “For You” Part: Sifted through for actual advice – phrases like “focus on communication” or “revisit finances.” Ignored the cosmic fluff.
My Actual Process Workflow
Okay, desk time. Grabbed my terrible notepad (the one with the pizza stain) and a cheap pen.
- Read One Paragraph: Just one. Picked the first major section under the Virgo sign header.
- Underline The Concrete Bits: Anything that sounded like an action or a date? Underlined it. “Mercury enters Libra on the 22nd” – underlined the date. “Check contracts” – underlined that action.
- Ignore The Rest (Seriously): All the “cosmic energies align to facilitate transformative synergy”? Yeah, skipped right over it. Felt liberating.
- Rewrite in Dumb Words: Took my underlined parts and scribbled them in plain English on a fresh page. “Week 2 = Talk to boss? Be clearer.” That kind of thing. Made it stupid simple.
- Check The Dates: Went back and double-checked the dates I underlined against a basic calendar on my phone. Made sure “mid-month” meant roughly the 14th-16th for me.
The key moment? Realizing most of the text wasn’t for understanding verbatim. It was atmosphere. Once I ditched the pressure to “get” all the astrology terms and focused purely on “What date?” and “What thing?” it clicked.
What I Actually Ended Up With
By the end, my pizza-stained notepad had this for my “John Hayes Virgo Prediction Cheat Sheet”:
- Watch Communication: Mercury doing stuff early on. Think before talking (always my issue).
- Money Check-Up Week: Around 15th? Review bills/income. Maybe cancel that streaming service I never use.
- Patience Peaks Mid-Month: Got something annoying brewing? Deal with it after the 20th. Cosmic sigh of relief implied.
- Social Reset End Month: Old friend might pop up? Be cool about it, don’t overthink.
And honestly? That’s it. Took maybe 20 minutes once I stopped trying to decode it like some ancient scroll and treated it like finding useful crumbs in a dense forest of words. The rest? Vibes. Glitter on the cake. Not sure I “understand” John Hayes any better now, but I definitely got usable bits for my month. Way cheaper than therapy, at least for Tuesday’s coffee trauma.
