Alright so this week’s horoscope for Virgos caught my eye – the headline promised “practical grounding energy” and honestly? I needed that. Here’s exactly how it went down trying to follow this thing step by step.
The Morning Ritual Attempt
Woke up earlier than usual cause the horoscope said “rise with the sun for clarity”. Made my usual black tea but spilled half of it trying to meditate like they suggested. Cat jumped on my lap mid-OM. Focus level? Zero. Tea stains on yoga pants? Maximum.
- First Fail: Trying to journal before breakfast. Stared at blank page for 10 minutes. Wrote “I am grounded” five times. Felt like lying.
- Minor Win: Actually watered my sad spider plant like the guide said. Small victory.
Dealing With That “Organize Your Space” Advice
Horoscope screamed “Tackle neglected corners!” Fine. Chose the nightmare drawer under the microwave. Found:
- 3 dead phone chargers
- A 2018 movie ticket stub
- Something sticky that might’ve been honey once
Got distracted sorting old photos for 40 minutes. Drawer still half-full. Called it “progress” and ate ice cream.
The Social Thing Was Awkward
Guide insisted “Initiate meaningful conversations” like some kinda networking event. Texted my cousin about her job interview. Conversation went:
Me: “Hey saw your interview post! How’d it go?”
Her: “Two weeks ago. Got it.”
Me: “…Cool cool.”
Horoscope owes me an apology for that forced moment.
The Wellness Part Hurt
“Stretch tight muscles” sounded easy till I tried toe touches. Back cracked like popcorn. Googled “beginner yoga for stiff people.” Followed a tutorial. Spent 8 minutes getting up from floor. Cat stared judgementally. Added “yoga mat” to shopping list between groans.
Grocery Fail
Saw “Prioritize whole foods” right before Trader Joe’s run. Aimed for organic veggies. Realized halfway:
- Organic bell peppers cost 3x more
- Forguit shopping list
- Ended up with frozen pizza anyway
Justified it because pizza has tomato sauce. Tomatoes=whole food? The horoscope didn’t specify.
The Big Takeaway
Ended up rewriting their advice in crayon:
“Water plants
Clean ONE drawer
Text someone first
Touch toes (carefully)
Buy one green thing”
Did 3/5. Better than last week. Maybe Virgo energy means lowering expectations till they’re achievable. Or just accepting that cat interruptions and accidental pizza will happen. Still cheaper than therapy.
