So this morning I decided to test-drive making a Virgo love horoscope for next December. Gotta admit, I was pretty skeptical right out the gate. Horoscopes always felt like reading tea leaves to me, but hey, people seem to love ’em, so why not try crafting one myself?
First thing I did? Pulled up my usual boring spreadsheet. Yeah, boring old Google Sheets. Figured I could track planetary transits for December 2024 based on those free ephemeris tables online. Took forever just looking up dates and copying numbers over. December 2024… that Mars Retrograde starts early in the month. Noted that. Made my coffee cold while typing.
Then came the headache: figuring out the “best days.” Seriously, how do people even decide this stuff? I stared at my mess of numbers until my eyes crossed. Decided on Venus trine Mars dates ’cause everyone talks about Venus for love. Wrote ’em down:
- Best Date #1: December 10th (Venus enters Capricorn? Maybe smoother communication?)
- Peak Day: December 24th (Christmas Eve? That felt weird!)
- Surprise Twist: December 19th (Mercury Direct + something else. Total guesswork.)
Honestly? Just picking those felt like throwing darts. But gotta play the game, right? Labeled December 24th as the “BIG” romantic day. Made me laugh. Christmas Eve is usually chaos, not starry-eyed moments.
Next step? Actually writing the prediction. Stared at the blank page forever. How do you sound wise and mystical? Tried something like: “Virgos, December asks you to open your analytical heart. Practical magic awaits!” Cringed so hard while typing that. Went with it anyway. Added generic fluff about clarity and commitment.
Showed it to my partner later. “Total guesswork, huh?” was their reaction. Spot on. Looked just like every other horoscope I ever skimmed: vague promises sprinkled with specific dates pulled from the planetary chaos. The “best days” were neat, tidy, and utterly divorced from anything real. The whole process felt like assembling cheap flat-pack furniture – forced parts fitting poorly.
Finished by slapping the title on top: “Your Virgo December 2024 Love Horoscope: Best Days Revealed!” Looked legit, I guess? Couldn’t help feeling it was just rearranging cosmic deck chairs. Maybe next time I’ll stick to weather forecasts.
