Okay so I decided to dig into this Virgo single love prediction thing for 2024 ’cause honestly? My dating life’s been drier than unbuttered toast. Grabbed my laptop last Tuesday after work – microwave burrito still hanging outta my mouth – and started hunting down horoscope stuff. First page that popped up was some astrology site plastered with moon emojis.
How I tested the predictions
Scrolled straight to the Virgo section and holy crap it was long. Like ten damn paragraphs about planetary alignments and cosmic energy. Zeroed in on the important bits:
- Said Virgos should join hobby groups around May
- Warned about dating apps being messy before September
- Told us to “watch for earth signs” during holiday season
Figured might as well try it. Saturday rolled around and I literally drove to three different coffee shops checking bulletin boards. Found a local hiking group notice at the third place – tacked next to a missing cat poster. Signed up feeling like a total idiot.
What actually went down
Fast forward to May 12th hiking trip. Met Sarah at the trailhead when she asked to borrow bug spray. She’s a total Capricorn – earth sign just like the prediction said! We talked about stupid stuff like favorite hiking socks brands. Got her number when we stopped for water break. Texted her next day and she ghosted me for 48 hours – classic Virgo-Capricorn communication breakdown amirite?
Tried the dating app part too. Made a profile in August just to test the warning. Damn prediction nailed it – matched with a girl who sent me pics of her ex’s toothbrush collection. Instant uninstall.
December came and Sarah randomly texted me back about some concert. Guess the planets weren’t totally wrong after all.
My takeaway
Still single right now but whatever. Horoscopes got some parts hilariously right while other stuff was like reading fortune cookie nonsense. That hiking thing was worth it though – met a cool squirrel that ate trail mix from my hand. Gonna keep doing my own thing but might check those holiday earth signs just for laughs. At least now I got a story better than last year’s dating disaster with the girl who brought her emotional support cactus.
