Alright so today I got curious about Virgo love matches after my buddy Dave’s dating disaster. Figured I’d actually test those zodiac theories instead of just reading horoscopes like fortune cookies. Here’s how it went down.
My Virgo Investigation Setup
First, I grabbed my coffee-stained notebook – the one I use for grocery lists mostly. Started listing out Virgo traits real simple like:
- Overthink EVERYTHING (guilty)
- Secretly worry about crumbs on the couch
- Organize spice racks for fun
- Give “helpful” criticism like it’s oxygen
Then I hit Google hard. Searched “best zodiac for Virgo romance” and got a billion listicles. Skimmed like 20 tabs while eating cold pizza. Noticed three signs kept popping up: Taurus, Cancer, Capricorn. “Okay universe,” I thought, “show me the receipts.”
Testing the Waters IRL
Tried flirting with my Taurus coworker Sarah first. Brought her perfectly sharpened pencils Monday morning. She just blinked and said “My mechanical one works fine.” Strike one.
Next weekend, asked Cancer neighbor Mark to help organize my toolbox. Dude showed up with emotional baggage heavier than my socket wrench set. Thirty minutes in, he’s crying about his ex. Noped out fast.
Finally dragged Capricorn friend Lena to a budget spreadsheet workshop (don’t judge). Magic happened. We geeked out over tax deductions for two hours straight. She even color-coded my grocery list after. Sparks flew… spreadsheet sparks.
The Cold Hard Conclusions
After two weeks of awkward “research”:
- Earth signs get the Virgo panic attacks
- Water signs drown us in feelings soup
- Fire signs? LOL no. Tried Gemini Chris who showed up an hour late with one shoe
My notebook’s got scribbles like “CAPRICORNS RULE” circled ten times. They’re boring as oatmeal but damn that compatibility hits different. Folding fitted sheets together? chef’s kiss
Still single though. Guess the stars forgot my crippling trust issues. Back to organizing my bookshelf by color.
