So this week I was cleaning out my emails and stumbled upon Mystic Meg’s Virgo predictions. Normally I don’t go for that stuff, but hey – free entertainment, right? The subject line screamed “DISCOVER YOUR FATE” in all caps like some cheesy carnival ad. Figured why not put this to the test proper.
Getting Started With the Voodoo
First thing Tuesday morning I pulled up the predictions on my phone while burning toast. Meg claimed this week “financial opportunities knock” for Virgos. Yeah okay – I still haven’t seen that stimulus check from 2020. But I grabbed a notebook just to play along. Scribbled “$$$ opportunity??” at the top like some desperate lottery player.
Watching for Signs Like a Weirdo
Wednesday rolls around and I’m hyper-aware of every damn thing. Co-worker offers me expired coupon? Potential opportunity! Email about extended car warranty? FATE KNOCKING! By Thursday I’m eyeing pennies on the sidewalk like they’re golden tickets. Total nonsense but I kept checking Meg’s predictions like homework.
- Thursday prediction: “Unexpected visitor brings joy.” Only visitor was Jehovah’s Witnesses. Slammed the door so fast I tripped over the cat.
- Friday’s big reveal: “Romantic tension at work.” Our office romance consists of Larry from accounting microwaving fish. Again.
- Saturday: “Trust your instincts about a secret.” My instinct said ice cream for breakfast. Regretted that by noon.
The Grand Finale Flop
Sunday’s prediction promised “life-changing news before sunset.” Spent all afternoon jumping at phone alerts. Finally got a text at 6:58 PM – it was my pharmacy saying my allergy meds were ready. Groundbreaking stuff. Closed the notebook feeling like I’d wasted a week waiting for Hogwarts letters that ain’t coming.
Verdict? Maybe Meg’s crystal ball needs Windex. Either that or my fate’s stuck in the spam folder with all those prince-from-Nigeria emails. Next week I’m sticking to checking the weather app. At least that rain forecast’s usually half-right.
