Okay so this morning I grabbed my coffee and decided to actually try following astrology advice step by step for once. First thing, I searched up this Virgo weekly preview thing everyone keeps mentioning. Honestly, felt kinda silly typing “astrostyle virgo next week” like some crystal-loving hippie – but curiosity won.
The Setup Was Annoying Already
Clicked through pages asking for my birth details – day, month, year, exact time. Like damn, I barely remember my mom’s birthday. Guessed 7 AM ’cause that sounds legit. Then it demanded my location for “accurate planetary positioning.” Buddy, I just want bullet points about my love life.
Actual Steps I Took:
- Spilled coffee wiping cookie crumbs off keyboard
- Pasted my rough birth info into three different fields
- Got pop-up ads for tarot readings halfway through
- Nearly rage-quit when it asked payment for “premium insights”
Skimming Through Predictions
Finally got to the free preview. Scrolled past fluffy stuff like “stars aligning in fifth house” and hunted for concrete advice. Found two usable things:
- Monday: Mercury retrograde warning about tech disasters (backup your work!)
- Thursday: “Cosmic energy favors difficult conversations”
My Real-Life Test Run
Okay cosmic forces, challenge accepted. Thursday morning I called my phone provider about their bullshit overage fees. Normally I’d just rage-tweet, but hey – astrology said talk. Shockingly? Got $20 credit after 15 minutes. Coincidence? Maybe. But I’ll take it.
Tried the Mercury warning too. Backed up Monday’s project files to two drives. Tuesday our work server crashed. My stuff was safe – coworker’s presentation? Gone like tears in rain. Felt smug for two whole hours.
End of Week Verdict
Still think astrology’s mostly made-up – but damn if it didn’t give practical nudges. Might check next week’s too, though I’m skipping the “love planet trine” nonsense. Show me when to schedule dentist appointments or negotiate raises, planets. That’s all I’m saying.
