So last month, my sister Marcy – total Virgo, like annoyingly organized – calls me crying cause her Aquarius husband Dave forgot their anniversary again. Dude spaced it completely, bought her socks instead. Socks! She’s ready to toss his weirdo gadgets out the window. I figured, hey, my blog’s about testing stuff, why not actually try fixing this mess? Grabbed my notebook.
First thing Monday morning, I hauled them both over under the pretense of “family brunch” – truth was, I brought a giant fking spreadsheet. Wanted to map their fights. Like clockwork, Marcy starts nagging Dave about leaving coffee mugs everywhere. Dave just zones out, stares at the birds outside. Classic. Aquarius floats away, Virgo fumes. Took detailed notes:
- Feb 5: Marcy mad about unwashed dishes. Dave bought an automatic feeder for the cat instead of helping.
- Feb 12: Dave planned a “surprise” tech-free evening forgetting Marcy hates surprises. She hid the router.
Realized they needed rules, but rules Aquarius might not rebel against. My “5 Secrets” weren’t theory; I road-tested them right there:
- #1 Let Air Breathe: Made Dave promise one “tech cave” room where Marcy couldn’t touch his messy projects. He actually cleaned half the garage Saturday. Win.
- #2 Nerdy Appreciation: Forced Marcy to ask Dave about his robot vacuum project one night instead of complaining. He talked for 20 mins straight. She listened. Miracles.
- #3 Virgo Structure Lite: Created a shared online calendar – color coded everything. Dave added anniversary reminders… with 5 alarms. Third point flopped hard when Dave “forgot” the actual date still, alarms ignored.
Biggest win came from #4: Future Fuel. Virgos plan, Aquarius dreams. Locked them in a room (kidding… mostly) and forced them to scribble goals. Marcy wanted retirement savings plan. Dave sketched an RV trip to see the Grand Canyon at night. They compromised: save for RV trip. Started an actual jar labeled “Stars & Spreadsheets Fund.” They touched hands putting the first dollar in.
#5 was simple: Bluntness Break: Taught Marcy to say “I feel hurt” instead of “You never listen.” Taught Dave to say “I need space” instead of ghosting. Still rough, but last Thursday he actually told her, “Cool the rant, space cadet needs air” and walked out before exploding. Progress!
Two weeks in. Dave remembered trash day without a spreadsheet once. Marcy didn’t reorganize his toolbox. Small wins. It’s messy, awkward, and Dave still uses odd socks as coasters. But watching them figure out their alien languages feels real. My notebook’s full of crossed-out failures, but hey, that’s the practice part. Still holding that jar hostage.
