So I got thinking last Thursday – what if astro stuff actually works? Saw this forum post about Aries and Virgo friendships being like oil and water. Grabbed my worn Moleskine (yeah, still analog for some things) and my phone. Took two hours just brainstorming how to test this properly.
Getting My Hands Dirty
First step was finding lab rats – my Aries pal Mark (bouncy energy, talks like his mouth’s on fire) and Virgo coworker Sarah (quiet as church mouse, organizes her desk like it’s brain surgery). Sent ’em both awkward texts asking if I could play fly-on-the-wall during hangouts.
Setup was simple:
- Set calendar alerts every 30 minutes during meetups
- Made this crude spreadsheet on Google Sheets for logging stuff
- Jotted down whatever weirdness happened – eye rolls, vibes, awkward silences
Arms were literally sore after the first session. Mark showed up twenty minutes late roaring about some TikTok video, while Sarah quietly rearranged coasters the whole time. Caught her wincing when Mark spilled kombucha on her beige rug.
Trainwreck Logs
Here’s the raw data dump from Week 1:
- Convo sparks = zero. Every topic died like wet fireworks. Sarah started breaking down recycling rules – Mark yawned hard enough to crack his jaw.
- Decision pain: Picking lunch took 47 minutes. Sarah needed allergy charts; Mark yelled “TACOS OR DEATH” three times.
- Secret eye-rolls: I counted seventeen from Sarah when Mark talked. Mark just kept scrolling TikTok.
Felt like watching a bad reality show. Installed a decibel meter app later – Mark averaged 75db, Sarah at library-level 50db. Made my ears ring honestly.
The Patchwork Phase
Tried patching things over:
- Made separate hangouts with just Sarah (museums = peaceful) and just Mark (arcades = headache city)
- Attempted neutral turf – coffee shop was disaster. Mark chugged espresso shots while Sarah cleaned crumbs off chairs with napkins.
- Group chat lasted two days. Sarah sent paragraphs correcting grammar; Mark replied with memes.
Even tried matching their energies one Tuesday – wore Mark’s basketball jersey with Sarah’s sensible loafers. Felt stupid and got weird looks at Subway.
Cold Hard Conclusions
After four weeks? That forum was dead right. Oil and water – maybe worse. Saw their interaction stats:
- Engagement time: Averaged 12 minutes before someone made excuses to bolt
- Shared interests logged: Zero overlapping
- Actual laughs caught: Two forced chuckles total
Closing my notebook felt like finishing a science fair project gone sideways. Ram-energy meets earth-energy? More like earthquake meets tornado. Still friends with both separately – but keeping ’em miles apart. Some cosmic rules ain’t worth bending.
