Man, sometimes I dig myself into the weirdest holes just for a bit of material. Most people check their old text messages when they’re feeling nostalgic. Me? I started checking ancient cosmic predictions against my actual life events. Yeah, I know. Hear me out, though.
A few weeks ago, I was clearing out a seriously old cloud drive, the kind of digital graveyard where screenshots from 2017 go to die. I stumbled across a folder labeled “August 2017” and inside was one blurry screenshot: a monthly horoscope for Virgo, specifically the love forecast section. I must have saved it back then because my dating life was a straight-up disaster, and I was clearly desperate enough to consult the stars.
The Hypothesis: Does the Universe Care About My Tinder Swipes?
My goal for this little project—which I literally dragged out over three evenings because I kept getting distracted by old photos—was simple: I wanted to put this specific, archived forecast to the ultimate test. Did it accurately reflect the chaos, or was it just the usual vague nonsense? I treated the horoscope like a software requirement document and my life as the buggy code.
First thing I did was find the source material. The screenshot was from a specific, somewhat trashy astrology site. The August 2017 love forecast for Virgos essentially promised three main things:
- Strong internal conflicts with a partner or potential partner regarding commitment.
- A breakthrough moment around the third week that leads to a necessary, painful separation or a sudden, dramatic deepening of the bond.
- Financial concerns impacting romantic decisions near the end of the month.
I read that list and just laughed. Commitment conflicts? That was my entire 2017, regardless of the star signs.
Retrieving the Real-World Logs (August 2017)
This was the hard part. I had to reconstruct the actual timeline of August 2017. Luckily, I’m a maniac when it comes to old digital receipts and calendar entries. I literally scrolled back through five years of archived email threads, bank statements, and even old fitness app logs just to gauge my mood and activity level. It was exhausting, but it provided the data I needed.
What did my actual August 2017 look like? What were the key events that relate to “love”?
Week 1 & 2: The Conflict Phase. The horoscope nailed the conflict part, but not how they envisioned it. I wasn’t fighting about commitment; I was fighting with an on-again, off-again “situation-ship” partner about their terrible parking habits. Seriously. We spent a full three days not speaking because they took the last spot in the building garage and I had to park three blocks away in the rain. That’s low-stakes, real-life conflict, not cosmic drama.
Week 3: The “Breakthrough” Moment. The horoscope promised drama or destiny. What I got was a text message at 10 PM on a Tuesday. The text was from a different person—someone I had completely forgotten about from a disastrous date in July—saying, “Are you busy this weekend?” I interpreted this as the “sudden, dramatic deepening of the bond.” My response was, “Yes.” That was the separation. It wasn’t painful; it was just me closing the door firmly because I realized I didn’t want the hassle. So, a separation happened, but it was self-initiated and utterly mundane.
End of Month: Financials and Romance. This one got me thinking. I reviewed my August 2017 credit card statements. Did financial concerns impact romantic decisions? Absolutely. I saw a huge spike in my spending on cheap fast food because I had blown my entertainment budget on a ridiculously overpriced concert ticket for a date that totally flaked on me. So yes, my concern about money absolutely made me decide against any further expensive dinner dates for the rest of the month. The stars didn’t predict my broke status; my poor planning did. But technically, the forecast was fulfilled.
The Verdict: Was August 2017 a Good Love Month?
If you judge the month by the horoscope’s metrics, then yes, it was a good month. All three predictions—conflict, separation, and financial impact—technically materialized. But if you judge it based on my actual satisfaction, it was a total wash. It was messy, cheap, and stressful. The universe didn’t give me a forecast; it gave me a very vague checklist that could apply to literally any month where I was dating.
What I took away from all this digging isn’t that astrology works. It’s that in 2017, I was so desperate for an explanation for my chaotic love life that I was willing to screen-capture celestial advice. Now, in 2024, I look back and realize the only forecast I needed was “You are going to waste time on emotionally unavailable people until you stop buying expensive concert tickets for strangers.”
The practice was enlightening, though. I didn’t verify the stars, but I verified how much I’ve changed. I burned that screenshot right after I finished writing this up. Don’t need that kind of cosmic pressure anymore.
