So look, I used to date this Virgo guy. Total mess, honestly. Felt like I was walking on eggshells all the damn time. Started scribbling down all the crap that drove me nuts, trying to figure out if it was just him or the whole Virgo dude package. Here’s how it went down:
Spotting the Toxic Stuff
First up, I just watched and listened. Didn’t call him out yet. Needed ammo, right? Noticed a bunch of patterns real quick:
- Nitpicking Every Damn Thing: My shoes slightly out of place? World War III. Would rearrange stuff on my coffee table “better.” Made me wanna scream.
- Cold Like a Fridge: Bad day? Tough luck. Asking for comfort felt like begging a rock for a hug. Just shut down completely.
- Overthinking Olympics Champ: Simple “What’s for dinner?” turned into a 30-minute monologue weighing pros/cons of pasta vs rice. Exhausting.
- Holding Grudges Forever: Mentioned I liked his friend’s jacket once? Five months later he’d go “Yeah, you clearly liked his JACKET.” Like dude, seriously?
- Control Freak Vibes: Wanted to know my exact plans for Saturday. Not casually – like a drill sergeant. “14:00 walk dog. 15:00 grocery store. Proof?” No joke.
Trying to Fix This Mess
Alright, data collected. Time to experiment on the poor guy. Started small:
Against Nitpicking: Next time he criticised how I folded towels (yes, really), I stopped dead. Looked him in the eye. “That felt like an attack, not help. Can you ask nicely or zip it?” Totally froze him. Later, he mumbled an apology. Win.
Thawing the Iceman: Instead of expecting hugs when sad (lol), I straight up asked. “Bad day. Need a 3-minute hug. Non-negotiable.” He looked terrified but did it. Rigid at first, but kinda melted by minute two. Then I texted him exact feelings later (“Felt cared for!”). He started copying that language slowly. Progress.
Shutting Down Overthink: That dinner thing? Cut him off. “Babe, analysis paralysis. Pick for us. I promise zero bitching.” He panicked but picked burgers. Later, high-fived him. “Good call! See? Not dead.” Got faster decisions after that. Still took effort though.
Grudges: Found old texts where he brought up that stupid jacket incident AGAIN. Read them back to him. “Hear how weird this sounds?” He blushed hard. “Okay… it sounds petty.” I just stared until he agreed to drop it. Baby steps.
Controlling Schedule: This was tough. Started being vague. “Saturday? Errands and relaxing.” When he pressed for details, I grinned. “Mystery! Surprise me by not interrogating.” Took several tries. He’d twitch like needing a fix. Eventually learned asking “Anything urgent?” instead of a full breakdown.
Did It Actually Work?
Honestly? Kinda. He wasn’t perfect, but way better than psycho Virgo dude at the start. Biggest takeaway? Call out the specific behavior instantly + say exactly what you need instead. Virgos aren’t mind-readers (thank god). Show them the “right” way like programming a robot. Annoying? Yeah. Effective? Surprisingly yes. Would I date another Virgo? …Ask me in therapy.
