So folks, yesterday I decided to tackle astrology content ’cause Virgo season’s kicking in. Grabbed my laptop around breakfast time thinking, “Heck, let’s make horoscopes less confusing for people.” Started by brewing coffee – can’t function without that bitter fuel.
The Research Mess
Opened ten astrology tabs like a maniac. Read old Virgo predictions from 2023 while scribbling notes on a pizza-stained napkin. Took me forever to notice I’d mixed up Mercury retrograde dates with my dentist appointment calendar. Classic Virgo move right? Organized chaos.
Here’s what I actually did step-by-step:
- Dumped all planetary positions into a spreadsheet first
- Highlighted only stuff normal humans care about – not that “decile aspect” nonsense
- Cross-checked three astrology sites until my eyes glazed over
- Threw out 80% of technical jargon nobody understands
The breaking point came when I tried explaining “houses” using my laundry basket as visual aid. Got tangled in underwear while shouting “SEE? THIRD HOUSE IS LIKE YOUR SOCKS DRAWER!” at the camera. Deleted that footage immediately.
Simplify or Bust
Wrote four terrible drafts sounding like a robot professor. Trashed ’em all. Finally nailed it by imagining I’m explaining to my cousin Dave at a barbecue. Changed “celestial alignments” to “sky stuff”, “benefic planetary influences” became “good vibes from Saturn”.
Recorded the video leaning against my fridge with natural light. Flubbed the intro seven times because my cat attacked the tripod. Ended up keeping a take where I gesture wildly describing career predictions – almost knocked over a plant.
Biggest lessons learned:
- Nobody cares about exact moon degrees
- Say “opportunities” instead of “auspicious transits”
- Always move breakable objects before filming
- Cats are natural horoscope critics
Posted it before dinner feeling proud. Woke up today to three comments saying “finally get astrology!” and one dude complaining I didn’t mention Mercury enough. Can’t please everyone but hey, mission accomplished.
