You know, for a long time, I’d see all these daily horoscopes pop up, especially the love ones, always talking about “finding your soulmate” or “a destined encounter.” And yeah, I’d read ’em, sometimes just for a laugh, sometimes with a tiny flicker of hope. But eventually, I figured, just reading about it wasn’t gonna cut it. It was time to actually do something, to make my own damn horoscope happen, if you catch my drift.
Kicking Things Off: More Than Just Reading Stars
So, the first thing I did was stop just passively wishing. I decided this wasn’t about waiting for April 23rd or any specific date to fall into my lap. This was about figuring out what I actually wanted and what I was willing to put in. It sounds simple, but man, sitting down with a pen and paper and honestly listing out qualities I admired, not just physical stuff, but real, deep-down values, was harder than I thought. I didn’t want a perfect person; I wanted a genuine connection. I started writing down stuff like:
- Someone who makes me laugh, truly laugh.
- Someone honest, even when it’s tough.
- Someone who enjoys simple things, like a quiet coffee morning.
- Someone with their own passions, whatever they might be.
- Someone who can handle my own quirks, ’cause I got plenty.
It was less about finding “the one” and more about understanding “my one,” you know? Less about destiny, more about clarity.
The “Doing” Part: Getting Out There, Awkwardly
Once I had a clearer picture, I knew I couldn’t just sit on my couch and expect magic. This was the practice part. I tried a bunch of stuff. First, I dipped my toes into the online dating scene again. Oh boy. That was a rollercoaster. Swiping through profiles, trying to craft clever messages, getting ghosted, or having conversations just… fizzle out. It was a lot of effort for sometimes zero payoff. But, every now and then, I’d have a decent chat, maybe even a coffee date. Some of those were great, some were truly cringe. I remember one guy who basically interviewed me about my five-year plan on the first date. Hard pass.
But I didn’t stop there. I also pushed myself to get involved in things I genuinely liked. I joined a hiking club. I started going to open mic nights, even though I just listened. I signed up for a beginner’s pottery class. The idea wasn’t to find someone at every single event, but to expand my world and meet people organically. It was a bit scary at first, feeling like the new kid. But I kept at it. I made some cool friends through these activities, people I actually enjoyed spending time with, regardless of romance.
Learning and Adapting: The Real Practice Kicks In
Through all this, I started learning a lot. About people, about dating, but mostly, about myself. I learned that I was actually pretty resilient. Rejection stung, sure, but it wasn’t the end of the world. I learned what my non-negotiables were, and what I was being too picky about. For instance, I initially thought a partner had to love cooking as much as I do. Turns out, I just needed someone who appreciated my cooking, and maybe did the dishes once in a while. Big difference.
I also realized that this whole “soulmate” thing isn’t some pre-packaged deal. It’s not about finding someone who completes you because you’re half a person. It’s about finding someone who complements you, who inspires you, who you can grow with. Someone who sees you, truly sees you, and chooses to be with you, flaws and all.
There were moments of frustration, moments where I thought about giving up, moments where I felt like I was doing it all wrong. But I just kept going, kept tweaking my approach, kept being open. I tried to be more present on dates, to listen more, and to share more honestly about myself. I decided to focus on building genuine connections, whether they turned romantic or not.
The Outcome: A Different Kind of Connection
And guess what? It wasn’t about a single “aha!” moment on April 23, 2025. It was a gradual unfolding. After all that pushing myself out there, all that reflecting, all that trying, I finally found someone who just… fit. Not perfectly, because perfect doesn’t exist. But someone who aligned with those core values I’d listed. Someone who makes me laugh until my sides hurt, who listens without judgment, who’s got their own thing going on but loves sharing their world with mine. We met through one of those new hobbies I picked up – totally unexpected. It wasn’t a sudden, movie-like spark, but a slow, warm burn that grew stronger and stronger.
My “practice” taught me that finding a soulmate isn’t about some fated day or a star alignment. It’s about actively working on yourself, being brave enough to connect, and being open to who actually shows up, not just who you think you’re looking for. It’s about building something real, day by day, choice by choice.
