Alright, so yesterday I decided to whip up a fresh Virgo horoscope for the week after my coffee kicked in. Grabbed my worn-out astrology journal – you know, the one with coffee stains from last Tuesday? Started scribbling down planetary transits affecting Virgo this week while my cat Mercury tried to sit on my notes.
Career Stuff First
Checked Mercury’s position – duh, messenger planet’s crucial for Virgos. Saw it was moving through some boring financial sector. Thought: “Bet Virgos are stressing about spreadsheets right now.” Wrote down practical tips:
- Triple-check contracts before signing (those sneaky clause 17s)
- Schedule nerve-wracking meetings before lunch Wednesday
- Don’t reorganize the whole filing system… again
Then Came Love Section
Spot Venus doing the tango with Neptune. Immediately knew this meant trouble. Virgos would either see partners through rose-tinted glasses or notice every crumb on the counter. My scribbles got messy here:
- If dating: STOP analyzing their grammar on dating apps
- If committed: Say something nice before criticizing sock placement
- Virgo singles: Stop waiting for “perfect” – swipe right on that goofy profile pic
Got distracted for 20 mins wondering if my plants count as “offspring” in astrology terms. Back on track around 11am. Started connecting career and love vibes – that Saturn tension means work stress leaking into date nights. Added warning: “Don’t reorganize your partner’s sock drawer after bad workday.”
Final Touches
Reread everything pretending to be a high-strung Virgo. Edited out three passive-aggressive phrases (hard for us Taureans). Double-checked moon phases while eating leftover pizza. Hit publish feeling accomplished. Mercury promptly barfed on my rug. Figure it counts as cosmic approval.
