So today I decided to try checking my weekly career horoscope since I’m a Virgo and work’s been chaotic. Grabbed my coffee first thing, sat down at the kitchen table with my laptop still in pajamas. Figured I’d just Google “free Virgo career weekly” because ain’t nobody paying for that stuff.
The Search Struggle
Searched and immediately got bombarded with sketchy pop-ups. One site asked for my credit card “to verify identity” – yeah right! Closed five different ad tabs before landing on a purple website that looked like it hadn’t updated since 2008. Had to click “Virgo” from this broken zodiac wheel where half the signs didn’t load properly.
Reading Between Generic Lines
The forecast literally said:
“Mercury’s retrograde might cause miscommunications but your organizational skills will shine. Embrace teamwork around midweek!”
Could’ve said that about any damn week! Still took screenshots though because the whole page looked hilarious with those glittery star GIFs everywhere.
My Reality Check
Decided to test it:
- Monday: Spilled coffee all over project notes (Mercury retrograde, check)
- Tuesday: Reorganized client files successfully (organizational skills, check)
- Wednesday: Boss randomly assigned group task (teamwork stuff, check)
Creepy how it matched up even though the advice was vague as hell. Still don’t believe in astrology but hey, free entertainment for 10 minutes!
Final Thoughts
Wouldn’t make career decisions based on this, obviously. The whole thing felt like someone threw career buzzwords in a blender. But you know what? Reading about “opportunities coming your way” did give me a weird little confidence boost before salary negotiations tomorrow. Placebo effect maybe? Anyway, fun little experiment done.
