So this morning I grabbed my phone while chewing toast, thinking why not try that Google Virgo daily horoscope thing everyone keeps yapping about. Saw the notification pop up saying “love and career tips to boost your day.” Sounded fluffy, but hey, free advice. Clicked it open with buttery fingers – hoped it wouldn’t end like last time when advice said “embrace spontaneity” and I forgot my laptop charger.
Prepping for the Day with Virgo Wisdom
Scrolled down the page, squinting at tiny text. Career bit came first – claimed today I should “focus on details and tie up loose ends.” Huffed ’cause my desk looked like a paper tornado hit it. Started shuffling through overdue reports and unanswered emails while sipping cold coffee. Highlighted three pending tasks, stamped ’em URGENT in red marker. Felt weirdly productive… until my cat jumped on the keyboard and deleted half a spreadsheet.
Love tip was vaguer: “Open conversations lead to unexpected connections.” Shrugged, figuring my only “connection” would be with the coffee machine. Texted my partner anyway, asking if we needed more oat milk – real deep stuff. Got back a thumbs-up emoji. Later, elevator got stuck with Larry from accounting. Usually just stare at floor numbers, but remembered the “open conversation” crap. Said “Hot enough for ya?” He actually laughed, complained about his wilting tomatoes. Didn’t die awkwardly! Small win.
Where Things Got Dumb
Then the Virgo advice said “avoid overthinking decisions.” Laughed out loud. Spent 20 minutes choosing lunch:
- Sandwich felt too dry
- Salad looked sad
- Soup might spill on keyboard
Finally picked sandwich. Dropped it face-down immediately. Karma for doubting Mercury’s position or whatever.
End Result
Well. Cleaning my workspace actually cleared my head enough to fix the cat-damaged spreadsheet fast. And talking to Larry? He knew a trick to recover unsaved files. Weirdly useful. But “spontaneous connections” didn’t fix Karen stealing my parking spot. Overall? It’s just algorithm-generated fluff – don’t take it serious. Like flipping a coin to decide dinner. Sometimes gets you pizza, sometimes gets you… regret.
